The Video Game Awards: Absolute cancer.

...whoops.

If anyone is in tune with gaming today, you should know what the Video Game Awards are: An event in which the hottest games are given awards for everything but what really matters: Being a video game. You also get world premieres which are glorified movie trailers, and ten times out of ten, they're just that: movies.  Basically, it's a massive circlejerk of western games and publishers, with that ONE nod to the eastern side of things, usually Nintendo or someone else. In this case:

And rightfully so. Kojima is a good man and a good creator in general.

However, for the rest of the show, we were treated to a slew of world premieres showing no gameplay, a performance by Killer Mike which served for a product placement for Gears of War 4, an award was presented to an e-celeb because he literally couldn't make his way to the stage, actual celebrity cameos, an award for the best visual style (no surprise there), an award for best voice actor, an award for best e-sports athlete(see the very last image in this post), and the one that took the cake, an award presented to a man who made a game in honor of his dying son, and went on to donate the proceeds of the Ouya version to charity. Now that's disrespectful and in poor taste. As far as I'm concerned, he may as well have been texting while putting on an act. Oh, and there was another performance of some men shouting and the lead singer on a guitar, or something.

The only reason I even tuned in to the show was for one title:

Still waiting.

We got a teaser trailer before the show, which looked nice and a hands-on look again around eighty minutes into the show, which looked not-so-nice. The framerate was bad, and as quickly as I got excited, they ended it. With that, I tabbed out and went and did something else.

All these awards shows are as I stated before is just a circlejerk of western developers, product placements (Don't get me started on that razor blade advert made for US GAMERS HURK), echo chambers for social issues and everything else your casual gamer (If you can even call them that) eats up. And isn't it ironic that the one company that showed some actual gameplay is the one reason I keep coming along for this dreadful ride? I was excited for 2014's show just for that exhibition with Zelda U, or in this case, Breath of the Wild. I was hoping for 2015 to give us some more footage, but nope, I sat through another bad show with all the problems stated above. I'll give credit to Geoff Keighley for actually having some integrity within this industry and basically being the driving force behind this presentation. He wanted to acknowledge some fan games as well, mainly the Metroid 2 remake and Pokemon Uranium. However, Nintendo bitched about it and they remained unmentioned. But hey, at least we saw more of Zelda, right?

Right?

...right.

If you really want to pull in some more viewers, or at least make the show worth watching, show some damn games. What about Sonic Mania? I'm sure SEGA would love the press and exposure. Moreso since gamers today love retro games and pixelated paradises (Well, not everyone). When I think of video games, the last thing that comes to mind is That Dragon, Cancer. For a show about video games, you sure don't show a lot of them.


Just sayin'.

The Mascot Dilemma

Remember all of those mascot characters? Y’know, the ones with the colors and cartoony designs? Yeah, those. Remember how you would see them in just about every game back in 80’s and 90’s? Where did they go and what happened to them? It seems that the only mascots that are around are Mario, Donkey Kong and Sonic. In the sense of general appearances. You can put Pikachu in that category, too. I’d even say Pika is higher up on the ladder.

Well, I have a bit of the theory on what happened to these mascots. Now, keep in mind that some of the stuff I’m about to say while being a theory, is well-documented.

Meet today's iconic video game protagonists: Niko Bellic, Solid Snake and

eighteen other guys that are indistinguishable. Image by Hubpages.

The gradual disappearance of mascot characters is in collaboration with the increasingly large amount of everymen. What are everymen? They’re your go-to every day white dude with a scraggly beard, five-o’ clock shadow and brown hair. Now, Mario is this, but with a mustache. But he’s a mascot, and cartoony. Someone like Nathan Drake isn’t.  Now, when did we see this? Around the seventh generation of consoles, the PS3, Xbox 360 and Wii. But we need to go a little further back. Back in 1995, the SNES and SEGA Mega Drive were the top consoles, but there were new consoles coming 

 along, ones that stressed their utilization of…

GROUND BREAKING 3-D

The 3DO, Atari Jaguar, just to name a few. And then you had the SEGA Saturn and Playstation. Back then, 3D was a big deal. It was a notable jump from your usual 2D games. Me, I wasn’t really wowed by it. I just wanted to play games. However, this was where a lot of people came in to gaming, being impressed by those low-polygon models. These people ranged from people who knew nothing on video games and people who didn’t like video games. The latter? These people teased and bullied those who liked video games. Games like Mario and Sonic were ‘gay’ and ‘lame’, and games with blood and gore or some scraggly white dude (Yes, they existed then) are ‘cool’. But they wouldn’t know since they really don’t play them as often or frequent. Now, with the inclusion of 3D graphics, games were seen as cool and everyone was getting into it. 

But anyone that knows video games knows this much: Graphics do not make the game. This was a problem with some games on the Genesis and SNES: They looked good, but the gameplay and controls were poor. The jump to 3D only magnified which games were bad, and the bad ones were BAD. A dear friend of mine, practically a brother brought a game called Killing Zone. It was a 3D fighter, an early one for the PS1. He brought it and dropped it that night. It was bad, clunky and downright unenjoyable. The music stuck out to me and the skeleton character that turned into a giant skull when it jumped. That’s it. And never mind the 3DO and Jaguar. Those were even less powerful, and had less 3D capabilities than the Saturn.

But in spite of the growing pains, 3D gaming slowly became refined and playable. But back to the topic at hand, 3D wasn’t just the new best thing, cinematic FMV’s were also pushed. Most of the disc space used were for the FMV’s. Instead of pushing for games with great content and lasting appeal, they used that space for fifteen second clips. Final Fantasy VII is guilty of this. For the most part, games that tried to be games were still plentiful. You had mascots running around, the good, the bad and the odd.

But, around the turn of the generation, with the PS2, the Xbox and the Gamecube, these mascots started to thin out. Some were still around, but the notable ones were in decline, or tried to jump and fell to their deaths. At this point, graphics were getting more and more detailed and certain franchises popped up or broke out into popularity. You know the ones. Halo and Call of Duty were to the FPS genre what Sonic was to video games: When they got popular, everyone wanted a CoD and a Halo. Everyone was pushing for a mascot. The bad ones were bad and the ones in the middle needed more. But I’ll take ten colorful mascots over ten brown and bloom war simulators. 

I saw this as early as ’07. First person shooters were played by people who weren’t really into video games. The dudebro audience. Companies were pushing out FPS’es in droves, wanting to be CoD or have the next CoD and so-called professional reviewers were handing out 9/10 Game of the Year accolades left and right. Now, these companies were trying to push FPS’es as the main go-to genre and while some of them were unique and even tried to have something that stood out from the rest, there was an oversaturation of war sims and every other game was now in the first person perspective. Why?

Because the target audience for these games are people who didn’t like the cute, colorful mascots that were seen as childish. This is also where games were trying to be pushed as an artform. The rise of graphics and cinematics made for a wider appeal throughout. Tactics that were common in Hollywood are now being inserted into video games. Marketing is also a major factor in movies being promoted. Games like Call of Duty are heavily marketed, with promotional deals and the like, The Halo 4 tie in with Doritos and Mountain Dew being a notable example of how large video game marketing became.

So, you have marketing, Hollywood-esque elements and cinematics. But what does this have to do with mascot characters? Mascot characters like Mega Man, Bomberman, Pac-Man, Mario, Donkey Kong, Sonic, Spyro and Crash are to video games now what characters like Shrek, Spongebob and Bugs Bunny are to cartoons and film: Childish. If you have a cute character that appeals to children, or gives that impression, it’ll be seen as such. The games where you’re a faceless person moving about in the first person perspective are seen as adult and mature, and it isn’t coincidental that they’re rated M for mature.

And since we’re diving into the whole push for video games being like movies, this is another factor in the latter format: The faceless guy is usually a scraggly white guy. Someone that said target audience can ‘relate’ to. I have a problem with this. Not because they’re scraggly white guys, but because this is all they are. You can do your FPS perspectives with any character. Hell, Banjo-Tooie had an FPS mode. Make some FPS’es with mascot characters, it’s been done. There’s an FPS with schoolgirls and tentacle monsters. I'll play that before Generic War Simulator 14.

But I don’t care about being represented in video games. It’s been done before and moreso before feminists made it an issue. Killer Instinct? Shadow Man? The Combatribes? Street Fighter? Mortal Kombat? Just to name a few. Shadow Man’s protagonist was a black man. All the games mentioned have blacks as playables. While they’re not mascots or cartoony, they’re there. I have the choice to use them. I don’t need someone to look like me to relate to them. The ‘relatable’ excuse is just that – an excuse. You can’t play video games unless you have some generic white guy you can put yourself in? I have to do that every day when I boot up a game. I have to see what my character’s objectives are and go for them. I have to put myself in his shoes and go through his struggle. 

This is why I prefer mascot characters. I don’t have to deal with the bullshit above. I can just play their game. Save X from Y, or stop X from destroying Y. Simple shit. Going back to the feminists, we’ve had female characters in games. This also isn’t anything new. We’ve had them for the longest. You just don’t want to take the time to find these females in gaming. Just because the majority of gamers are men, doesn’t mean the industry is sexist. Just because said females are beautiful doesn’t mean they’re objectifying or offensive. This goes back into self-insertion: If you have to have a white guy in your games to enjoy them, you’re part of the problem. If you have to have an ugly woman in your video games to enjoy them, you’re part of the problem. Stop trying to make video games like real life: I want to escape the real world when I play video games.

Bring back my mascots!

Well, as I said before this was just a theory on why I feel mascots have more or less died off. The companies who owned them dying didn’t have anything to do with the FPS genre’s rise, granted. And we do have a few mascot-esque characters still popping up from time to time. I hope we get more mascot-like games in the future.

VIDEO AT LAST:

My Picks for Gen II: The few, the underdogs and the failures

Welcome back. We return to the list of Pokémon that stand out to me, this time from Gen II!

Typhlosion

I don’t like Typlohsion. I’m only mentioning it because it’s just Charizard, stat-to-stat. That’s it. A pure Fire-type Charizard. I thought its fire mane was pretty cool, and I picked one in Gold. But that was it. The only reason I’m mentioning it is because while Typhlosion can be Charizard without wings, Infernape and Emboar get shit on for being Fire/Fighting-types despite have different stats and methods of usage. I hate nostalgiafags.

Feraligatr

The only starter that’s worth a squirt of piss in Gen II. The one I got in SoulSilver was a female, and adamant at that. Now either I lucked out, or that was the game’s way of rewarding me with picking it. She was a leading force in my team, and I like the thought of having a very large starter. Feraligatr stands at 7’07, and that’s just awesome. Plus, I love reptiles.

Noctowl

As far as regional birds go, Noctowl is unique. It utilizes Confusion and other Psychic moves and such and it has a nice special defense stat to fall back on. It helps that it looks like an actual owl compared to its pre-evo.

Ledian

And here, Gen II’s problems begin. Well, Furret did that already, but Ledian is in a state of turmoil. First, it has a good design. Second, it has access to punching moves. Third, it can utilize them better than Hitmonchan could prior to Gen IV. So, what’s the problem? Well, its special attack is trash, its attack is even worse, and it only has a high special defense stat to fall back on. And even then, its HP is very low. And even its speed won’t make a difference. Nothing should fall to a Ledian. NOTHING. I wanted to like Ledian, but it’s the poster boy for bad Pokémon, and moreso one of the many blunders Gen II has. Furret is bad, but Ledian’s potential is so wasted Furret doesn’t even exist. If you picked Silver, I’m so sorry for you.

Ariados

And if you picked Gold, you had this instead.  Not that Ariados is any better, but it actually is better compared to Ledian. But that still isn’t saying much. It’s slower, and a Poison-type to boot. Psychics can floor it with no problem. But with Gen IV, it got some viability, but it’s still underwhelming. Underwhelming, but better than Ledian.

Crobat

Crobat is fucking awesome. Great design, great movepool, fantastic speed and the very first cross evolution in the National Dex line. And what a fantastic addition to an old line. The design is definitely a vast change from Golbat, and this is the only time where I can say that Crobat doesn’t resemble its previous forms. Even the Gen IV evos, which people complain about look like their past forms.

The Babies

I’m dedicating this whole section to the baby Pokémon. They were added for egg moves, moves their older counterparts can’t learn, and mainly to make a connection to adult Pokémon. You had Pichu, Igglybuff, Cleffa, Togepi, Tyrogue, Smoochum, Elekid and Magby. The first was an attempt to cash in on Pikachu’s success and instead of giving Raichu an evo, it started the trend of making a cute Electric-type rodent with each gen. Marill was doing it right. That Firepika was also doing it right. Making a whole circle of rodents with each type would be great, but for whatever reason, GameFreak wants to keep copying Pikachu’s success. Babies aren’t worth using in battle, just slap an EXP Share on one, and look for the moves you want and evolve it when you’re ready.

Ampharos

When I first saw it in that magazine, I thought it wasn’t related to Flaaffy and Mareep. It’s a really cool Pokémon, and its Japanese name is a pun on electricity and dragon, Denryu. Much later on in Gen VI, it would get a mega that made that pun a reality.

Azumarill

I love Azumarill. Its Huge Power ability makes it a great Pokémon to have early on, and even better since it evolves pretty early. It gives you a reason to have that cute Marill and see it become a force to be reckoned with, unlike that awful addition Pichu.

Sudowoodo

I also remember Sudowoodo in the magazine, and mentioning it wasn’t a Grass-type. And thanks to the anime, as mentioned in part 1, I thought it was immune to Electric attacks. It’s fairly slow, and it can’t take hits, but it can do some decent damage. And its name is pretty cool.

Politoed

I thought this one was a Grass-type when I first saw it. It’s also the first Pokémon I forgot existed. I had a Poliwhirl ready to evolve with the right nature, but I released it. Honestly, Politoed is okay, and I see the resemblance from it to its previous forms but Poliwrath has more to it, design-wise. Even as a frog, it doesn’t really appeal to me.

The Hoppip line

I like this whole line. It’s great if you picked Cyndaquil or Totodile. Chikorita has no reason to be picked when you consider Johto’s distribution of Pokémon. You have Oddish, Bellsprout and Hoppip, all who can be obtained early on. Hoppip adds something new at the time and can mix things up a bit. Synthesis can benefit it due to being weaker than most of your team more than likely.

Quagsire

The first time a Water-type was anything but, and ultimately proved that Rock-types weren’t immune to Electric-types. Unfortunately, it isn’t a spectacular Pokémon, and Gen II seems to have a lot of Pokémon in the middle area and even more in the lower/bottom area with literally a handful at the top.

Umbreon

Ah, the Dark counterpart to Espeon. No disrespect to Espeon, but Umbreon appeals to me more. I like its heavy defenses and its overall set up of moves and strategies. Granted, it’s not as good as it used to be, but Blacky still has a place in my heart.

Slowking

As I mentioned before, Slowking was a strange Pokémon to me. It was Slowpoke, but smarter. And to Slowbro’s defensive capabilities, Slowking is a showcase of Sp. Def. The two are interchangeable and there’s really no definitive choice to pick between them. One could say Slowbro gets the edge with its mega evolution, and some may just want to use Slowking for the sake of using it. It’s all up to you.

Wobbuffet

I didn’t know what to think of this one. I saw it in the anime and it only used Counter and seldom Mirror Coat.  When I finally fought one, I saw what purpose it served: An all-or-nothing Pokémon. You had to take it out in one hit, or risk getting KO’ed if it used the proper attack.  And even then, Destiny Bond could seal your fate. In Gen III, it got Shadow Tag. You REALLY had to take it out in one hit and hope you got lucky otherwise. On another note, its pre-evo, Wynaut was shown near the end of Gen II’s run. Wynaut add it and Azurill in Gen II? Too many babies? Or did they want to keep it an even number of Pokémon added? Who knows.

Girafarig

A Giraffe is a badass standing almost twenty feet in the air, with a large neck capable of killing a human in one swing. Girafarig is an oddball standing less than five feet and is overall unremarkable. Its design is its only strong point, and don’t get me started on its earlier concept. I want a real giraffe, not some caricature. Same with Donphan, but we’ll get to that later.

Forretress

I like Forretress. One of the new Steel-types at the time, and a Bug-type to boot, it lacks speed, but it has great defense. Though it can be taken out by most Fire-types, unless you have a Fire-type, you’ll have a hard time taking one out, and Sturdy gave it an edge just in case.

Steelix

Steelix has the same problem Onix has: It’s great with defense, but it lacks real oomph with its offensive stats. Steelix at least has more defensive pros, but it’s still the same as Onix, and when you see what it can’t take, it becomes a pushover. However, with its mega evo, it finally gets something to fall back on. I say  that Gen II’s Pokémon need evos, but overall, some of them need a boost, and for the ones who aren’t exactly in need of evos, Megas fit that bill. This is what Megas should be used for.

Granbull

It’s a big softie and it’s powerful. It’s also slow. But I like it. I always get a male in spite of its gender ratio. With Gen VI, it finally becomes a Fairy-type, referencing its species name and more than likely actual fae origins. They weren’t cutesy eight-inch women, and they weren’t pure of heart. I’d love to see some more Fairy-types that aren’t pink and cuddly.

Scizor

The poster bug for Gen II, it’s the evolved form of Scyther. I didn’t see the relation to Scyther but I liked it. I didn’t know if it was a crab or an insect. What I did know was its trading card at the time had a black border around it. At the time, I didn’t know that was the Steel-type until I saw it in the anime. It’s a beast and still holds up today.

Shuckle

Another oddball. Was it a turtle or what? I liked its mechanic with making a berry into juice and then rare candy and I’m wondering why said mechanic was never reintroduced in SoulSilver. They went out the way to add those redundant apricorns, too. Its gimmick is tricky to pull off, but when it works, it works!

Heracross

My top favorite Pokémon from Gen II after Smoochum, it has amazing attack and a great typing. Every opportunity I get to have one on my team, I take it. I struggled to get one in Pearl and it stood on my team almost always. Its mega form isn’t too bad either, another example of doing the concept right: Help a great but flawed Pokémon get an upper hand.

Ursaring

If you didn’t have Snubbull, or Gold you could grab Teddiursa. It’s the bulky Normal-type, slow but powerful. One thing I noticed is in the anime it’s a really aggressive and angry Pokémon but in the games it’s more gluttonous and lazy. It has the power on it, though so I guess you still wouldn’t want to fuck with one.

Magcargo

Oh, my word. If Gen II had a master of disaster, it would be Magcargo. At least Ledian is expected to be underwhelming, Magcargo has too much going wrong with it to even be considered a useful Pokémon. Slow speed, a typing that’s not only doubly weak to Water, but Ground as well and a cool design. It was bad then and it’s bad now. Not even an evo or a mega could salvage it. Some people thought Magcargo was a Gen III Pokémon.

Octillery

Amazing. The concept alone sells itself and I was dumbfounded when I found out why a remora turns into an octopus. It can use Flamethrower, Ice Beam and Signal Beam, covering a lot of ground. If its special movepool isn’t enough, it can get physical and do a lot more damage.

Skarmory

 Its cry makes it seem robotic. It’s an amazing Pokémon, and one of Gen II’s top picks. While it doesn’t have anything to talk of physically, it’s one of best defensive walls you can use, after Blissey(Well, not physically anyway). Skarmory is perfect as is, and I think even GameFreak knows it. Some things never change. It took a bit of a blow in Gen VI, but it still fits the bill.

Houndoom

If you need a Fire-type, this is the go-to Pokémon if you didn’t pick Cyndaquil or if you were hoping for something good from Magcargo. Why do you have to wait so long to get a Fire-type in Gen II? Gen IV ended up with this problem until Platinum. Anyway, it’s pretty good in both attack stats and very good speed. Speedy enough not to get floored by Slowbro of all Pokémon(What the fuck were they thinking with Magcargo???).

Kingdra

I knew this was Seadra’s evolution. It’s the prime definition of a defensive Pokémon, and still is: Water/Dragon means you need a Dragon-type Pokémon and you need a STAB to really get some damage in. Unfortunately this is the only Dragon-type introduced in Gen II, and this was a kid that didn’t have anyone to trade with. A force to be reckoned with.

Donphan

Ah, Donphan. The anime makes it faster than it is. Now it’s got power and defense at least. But that speed keeps it down. Then again, at least it’s not Golem or Magcargo. But, my main problem is not only is it fairly slow, but as an elephant, and the only Pokémon based on one currently, it’s an embarrassment. I get it’s a tire and a wheel more than an elephant, but still. If we can have multiple butterflies/moths and two of the same mythical creature (Baku), we can surely have another elephant and giraffe? Same with a Kangaroo.

Porygon2

I like its concept, and I just now realized what it is at the time of writing this: Porygon was early 3D, Porygon2 is early Dreamcast/6^th generation graphics. Even in the 3D games, 2 was smoothed out nicely. It has its own gimmicks and tricks to use, so it’s not really a straightforward Pokémon to use in my opinion.

Hitmontop

I didn’t know what the hell this was. When I found out it was a member of the Tyrouge line, it confused me a little. It’s a little bit of everything (Hitmonlee, Hitmonchan and its own elements), same with Tyrogue. It’s a good Pokémon, with some nice defenses and attack. It’s an alternate take on Hitmonlee, and at worst a rehash of it.

Miltank

The casual filter of Gen II, it’s a female-only Pokémon, so your predominately male Pokémon had a problem with Attract. It’s fairly fast, so you get floored by its STAB moves. And if that wasn’t enough, you had to endure with Rollout’s gradual power. So, what do you do? Female Machop can negate that problem and possibly win the match right there and then. Female Geodude can get rid of that strategy, along with resisting Normal-type moves. You need a little more to do with this one unlike Onix, but it’s not hard to do.

Blissey

Some of the evolutions were obvious when you see them, this being one of them. It has the highest HP stat of all Pokémon, and the highest special defense of all Normal-types. And even with its horribly low defense, all of that HP balances it out. In Pearl, it was a force to be reckoned with, and it has access to a nice pool of moves and its family’s signature move, Softboiled. It got knocked down a peg with Eviolite in Gen V(And a lot of other final forms at that). But it still has an edge. Seismic Toss is not a joke with Blissey.

Tyranitar

Last but not least, we have our pseudo-legendary: Tyranitar. It boasts stats on par with legendaries alongside Dragonite and it takes a long time to evolve from a Larvitar.  Sand Stream gives it an edge, and even in Gen II it had a lot to be worried about. Now, it’s easy to take one out with some strategizing, but it can still deal some damage. Its Pokedex entries even dictate how fearful and tyrannical it is.

And, we are at the finish line. I didn’t mention the cat trio due to none of them really appealing to me, and the legendaries, I really don’t use. I do like the connection with Lugia and the bird trio, and of course Ho-oh being the first hint of Gen II coming soon. Celebi is pretty cute as well, but I don’t really use legendaries.

My picks for Gen I: The good, bad and the standouts

Here is my list of Pokémon from Gen I, in no particular order that I like, dislike or stood out to me then and now.

Venusaur

Venusaur is the Gen I starter that I feel is overlooked and underrated, compared to its counterparts. It doesn’t help that its game wasn’t released outside Japan and it took the remake for it to get some recognition, but even then, everyone was going on about how it’s FireRed and LeafGreen and not FireRed and WaterBlue. Ignorant masses. Now, it’s definitely the go-to Pokémon for a less experienced player, taking out Brock, Misty and resisting Lt. Surge. Even though there are a slew of other Grass/Poison Pokémon out to find in the games, you can still use it for an early headstart. 

Beedrill

Beedrill is cool. It’s a giant wasp with spears on its arms. Self-explanatory. I was mad when I couldn’t get one in Yellow, but ecstatic when I could get one in the remakes. Yellow Version was the go-to version for everyone because it followed the anime, but for me it was just a restrictive version that couldn’t let me get Beedrill. Butterfree got outclassed early on, but the same would apply for Beedrill.

Fearow

I mentioned in the Pokémon Retrospective part 1 that I raised one from a Spearow. I liked it more than Pidgey, who took longer to evolve fully, and it was also a piece of the puzzle that would relate to another favorite, one that still has a fair niche but was just a foolish pick to use overall. If you don’t know who I’m talking about, well….

 Farfetch’d

This Pokémon is based on a legend of a duck that gives itself up willingly to be eaten, the spring onion being an indicator as an ingredient. In Pokémon, it’s a samurai-like being, using the leek as a sword. It doesn’t pick just any leek, like a samurai won’t pick just any blade. Now, the concept is beyond awesome. But, as a battler, it falls under. The leek it uses can be used as a hold item, boosting its critical hit chance, and it’s got some good moves under it, more than some Pokémon who actually have better stats. It still has a place on my list, using one as a Flyer in X.

Raichu

Pikachu is everyone’s favorite mascot and yellow rat, and Pichu has the cute factor going on for it, but what about Raichu? No one likes Raichu, even GameFreak seems to snub it. It doesn’t help the anime pushed Raichu as an antagonist with Lt. Surge and making it look like it was slower than Pikachu, when it was the opposite. Unless you’re holding a Light Ball, you have no reason not to use Raichu. Its stats are better, and all the moves its previous form learns from all the events and dickstroking can be kept when it evolves.

Nidoqueen/king

These two are the basis for what would be genders and breeding.  Nidoqueen and Nidoking are more or less the same thing, some slight stat adjustments aside. A lot of people use Nidoking, and seldom Nidoqueen. It doesn’t help that it and Nidorina can’t breed for whatever reason. Nonetheless, they have enough to get a mention from me, having a wide movepool and a lot of flexibility. Plus, Nidoking’s cry was awesome.

Wigglytuff

I like Wigglytuff. It’s a nice HP tank with some moves here and there. No disrespect to its pre-evo. In fact, a mention to Jigglypuff. It was a main recurring Pokémon in the anime, and it got a spot in Super Smash Bros. as a result, still standing in its spot to this day. The line became partially Fairy-type in Gen VI, keeping it somewhat relevant, but it still gets overlooked by Clefable.

Vileplume

I adore Vileplume. It may be my favorite Gen I Grass-type. One, its cry. Two, it’s based on one of the coolest flowers known to man. Third, it’s the better alternative to Bellossom. Defensive and Grass-type don’t mix. At least I have a shiny Oddish I can use for it instead of a Vileplume.

Venomoth

One of the more viable bugs of the earlier days, it had access to better stats and moves, and was known for being one of the earliest stallers in the game, using Poisonpowder and Disable. A comic with Lance’s Dragonite summarizes this best. 

Source: No idea

 In the later gens it gets access to actual STAB moves with clout and some decent abilities here and there. Still not a fantastic Pokémon, but still above a lot of others.

Arcanine

A Fire-type with a lot of viability and one that could be obtained fairly early on if you didn’t have Charmander.  It was also a Pokémon Green used in your final battle against him. Cower at the might of its Ember and Leer attacks!

Source: Bulbapedia

 …This is what defined most of your opponents in Gen I. And I’m not gonna go over the rest of his team. Lemme just say that there have been RPG’s that were just as buggy and unbalanced as Pokémon Red/Green/Blue/Yellow and they were called out for it. But enough of the nostalgia bashing.

Poliwhirl/wrath

I just love these two. I’ve always been a fan of amphibians and reptiles. In addition, Poliwhirl is also Satoshi Tajiri’s favorite Pokémon, and it was very prominent in merchandise. I had a plush with some candy in a zip pouch. Same line featured Jigglypuff, also a favorite plush. It’s also a viable Pokémon to train, benefitting from the defense EV’s that Graveler give out at Iron Island. I even kept a second Poliwhirl for the hell of it.

Machamp

I remember when I got one with No Guard in Platinum, and it wrecked ass.  It looked intimidating in the anime, facing off against Ash’s Squirtle. However, it along with Alakazam, Golem and Gengar were Pokémon I couldn’t get back then. So much for the trading aspect. Machoke was more prominent, though with Pokken giving its evolution a main spot in the limelight, that’ll change.

Victreebel

Another Grass/Poison-type. What makes it stand out from the rest? The anime. Any Pokémon that appeared in the anime prominently was popular. Except for Lickitung. It was so boring it got traded in season 2. Even the directors knew that one was unsalvageable until Gen IV. It’s cool overall, but the lack of variety in Grass-types in Gen I shows. It had a low movepool.

Tentacruel

I found myself being attracted to non-mammalian Pokémon. Fish, jellyfish, frogs, reptiles, bugs, I liked those more than dogs, cats and bunnies. I loved my beige hamster, Beige though.  It had a good amount of Special in Gen I, and being the Poison-type gave it another edge defensively. That said, it couldn’t match Alakazam and the Psychic Syndicate.

Golem

You saw it in the anime a fair amount of times, but you didn’t see it in the games owned by a trainer. Even Bruno lacked one and went for another Onix. And this was when you had enough Fighting-types to fill a whole team. And it was a rock turtle. Outside of the concept and design, it’s not worth using. A lot of these Pokémon were just for picking. Battling, most of them fill a small niche, even then. You had to pick a favorite and go with it.

Slowbro

I like Slowbro. Not then, but now. It was just that silly Pokémon that fished with its tail and stood upright afterward. It was a Psychic-type, so if you used it, you were in the clear, after you got hit by an Electric-type.

Muk

I mentioned Muk was one of the very first Pokémon I saw. As a Pokémon itself, it was another thing that appealed to me: slime or goop. I loved playing with the slime found in bubblegum machines in the supermarkets. It still has its niche and appeal to me. The anime made it look invincible, though it never fought a Psychic-type, and it ended up losing anyway.

Cloyster

This bastard has some of the highest defense in the game. And that sneer is just amazing. Plus, it was one of the few Ice-types at the time. At least it had that high defense to boast. Articuno was hard to obtain, Dewgong is boring and Jynx was easily missable. So, catch a Shellder and evolve it. I never tried to raise bivalves.

Haunter

The only Ghost-type I could use, and the only one the lonely kid got to use. At the time, I wasn’t missing much. The only reason you used half if not two/thirds of Gen I was because you liked them. Most of them weren’t worth using until Gen II or Gen IV with its physical/special split. But, even Gen I’s lowest of the low still stood above Gen II’s roster, which I’ll touch upon soon. Now, its evo Gengar has a lot of viability, and it only took three gens.

Hypno

The posterboy for any rape or hypnotism subjects relating to Pokémon. It doesn’t help that in Mystery Dungeon, it kidnapped an Azurill. It’s another Pokémon that stood under Alakazam and Mewtwo.  Again, lack of moves.

Kingler

I love crabs and seafood. Put two and two together. Unfortunately, it had no viability due to its absolutely poor special stat. Again, what can I say? The anime made these Pokémon better than they really were. It took Gen IV to make a lot of Pokémon worth using.

Electrode

A shame how the anime made Electrode nothing more than an expendable Pokémon. At least it had a massively high speed stat, and dealt critical hits like crazy. Just don’t use that Thunderbolt TM on someone else. You see how this whole thing works out? You couldn’t trade items then. You had to find six Pokémon you were going to use and stick with them exclusively. You rarely had the option to swap anyone else out. The TM’s that you could buy were trash, and only a few Pokémon could utilize Hyper Beam. HM’s were a godsend if you were a Flying or a Water-type with good attack and special respectively.

Marowak

Its Pokedex entries were cool. It has its own graveyard where it gets top-quality bones and it stopped taking shit when it started to collect bones. It also had exclusive moves that it could actually utilize. Now it wasn’t one of the best Pokémon, but you could still use it. That’s more than could be said for it than Kingler and Hitmonchan, and we’re gonna go right to it.

Hitmonchan

I’m skipping Hitmonlee so I can trash the shit out of its counterpart. I picked Hitmonchan. It was a boxer, it knew a slew of punching moves, including Fire/Ice/Thunderpunch. Amazing, right? The minute I used Fire Punch, I learned how the special stat worked.  It doesn’t even learn any good Fighting moves. Hitmonlee at least learned STAB moves. Hell, it had four signature moves to its name. The only reason you’re using Hitmonchan is for the novelty. And Pokémon Red/Blue may as well have been a novelty at the time. Comet Punch sucked, too.

Rhydon

Technically the very first Pokémon created, predating to Capsule Monsters. It hasn’t changed much. Rhydon is one of those Pokémon that you can use to its full potential and not worry about evolving it. No disrespect to Rhyperior, I love it just as much and will defend it fiercely.  And it also featured in another bullshit moment in the anime, having its horn become the weak point to attack. All of this cool shit the anime did and the games didn’t attempt. It also got its design rehashed with the Nidos and our next contender…

Kangaskhan

It took until Gen IV for me to appreciate it. A nice bulky Pokémon with good speed and attack and mainly normal moves. And it works. You had to go through a hassle and a half to get it from the Safari Zone, but when you got it, it was all worth it. Simple, no gimmicks and a good signature move. The baby finally got its moment in Gen VI.

Starmie

Starmie is a weird one. It’s a Psychic-type, but learns no Psychic moves. And its Pokedex entries suggest it may not even be from Earth. But despite its lacking movepool, it has access to moves galore, one being Thunderbolt. I can’t even tell if its body is flesh or some type of hard material. You can get one as soon as you catch Staryu, even it doesn’t have too many moves to learn.

Scyther

This was the second bug worth using in Gen I, and even then it had no moves. Yellow had to salvage it slightly. It had good attack and speed, but no moves. Scizor was needed, just so it could show off its Steel-typing . Gen I had an obsession with reptiles, as this is a mantis, and Kangaskhan is a kangaroo. I want a proper kangaroo still.

Jynx

I touched upon Jynx in part 1 of my Pokémon retrospective, but I’m gonna do it again: Carole Boston Weatherford, you ruined one of my favorite Pokémon. Not for the design, but for its potential. It had a triangle with Magmar and Electabuzz, symbolized with its pre-evos lined up in the same position and order. It could have gotten a trade evo. Now it’s the poster child for black mammy, Nicki Minaj and ghetto girl jokes. If they copout with a Mega-evo, I’m gonna be pissed off.

Pinsir

Pinsir was a neat Pokémon. It has a lot of Fighting moves, but in Gen I it was another Pokémon with no moves(STAB). But it was another bug worth using, just to say “This bug type stands out from the rest, and I want to use it.” I liked it more than Scyther, and that scene where it snapped Metapod in half scared the shit out of it.

Tauros

Tauros is basic, but I like its cry. Being a Normal-type was a great thing in pre-Gen IV games. All the moves you could use and all the moves you could learn. If you really wanted to have a generally balanced team, you may as well use just Normal-types. You couldn’t benefit from special moves unless you had good special. But raw power always prevailed, as seen with...

Gyarados

You can get one of these early on with a guy who’ll sell you a Magikarp and call you a sucker for doing so. But the thing is not only do you get it early on, you can have Gyarados before Misty. This was the best choice you could make early on and Gyarados stood out then. Save for its weakness to Electric moves, it was a strong Pokémon you can get early on. What more can I say?

Eevee

Ah, this one. A unique Pokémon that was said to be few in number. It’s also an example of the whole concept of evolution and adaption. It turned into Vaporeon, Jolteon or Flareon. Who did I pick? I don’t remember. Who I do pick?

Leafeon. 

Aerodactyl

It was unique compared to the other fossils you could get. It even got the honor of naming a genus after it. Gen I nostalgia is still powerful to this day.

Snorlax

This Pokémon is literally me. Eat and sleep. That’s what I want to do all day. It was a monster in the anime, wiping out damn near all of those grapefruit islands and in the games, it was THE go-to Pokémon to catch and use. Even now, it’s a beast. How can it eat near its entire body weight in food per day? A herd of them can wipe out an entire ecosystem. As the games went along, it started to stand up and look alive. Will Gen VII show it running in place?

Dragonite

The only notable Dragon-type(IE the ONLY one)and you couldn’t use it properly. Dragon Rage wasn’t worth using when all your other moves did more damage on average. I personally think the Dragon-type was added late in development, a type that resists the usual elemental attacks. A good type to have for a final battle. It had the stats to utilize everything else, so what could you do? You could catch Dratini as soon as you got to water in the Safari Zone. Remember what I said about Venomoth trapping it with Barrier? Hoo boy.

Mewtwo

Ugh, this one. The face of Pokémon after Pikachu. It was the first of the ‘cool’ Pokémon, being savage and wanting to fight. It’s also a villain in the anime. However, that misconception is passed on throughout all media relating to it. In the games despite its Pokedex descriptions, it doesn’t actively come after you, or anyone else. It’s just a recluse. My best friend from childhood loved Mewtwo. I was indifferent to it. I had a toy based on it back then. It still stands out from the rest in popularity. I’d say it’s even edgier than the Pokémon people claim are edgy. It and Blastoise are the prime definitions of Digimon, before it was cool to call a Pokémon a Digimon. Mewtwo is just Renamon with a feline flair, and Blastoise’s cannons are out of place, even for Pokémon. I don’t hate it because of the cannons, but if we’re calling Pokémon Digimon, Blastoise fills that criteria more than anyone else.

Mew

The one secret that one kid told that was actually true. In Japan, it was known. But in America, it was kind of an urban legend, even though it appeared in the anime opening. But Ho-oh appeared too and wasn’t in the games yet. So it was justified to not know about Mew. It can learn just about every move in the game, and it was varied enough to use what it knew. Funny enough, Mew could be found exploiting Red/Blue’s glitches. Maybe this is why people love Gen I so much: There was a sense of mystery with the games and with Pokémon like Mew, there was something to discover.

And that’s my lineup on Gen I. A lot of favorites, and notable picks. I couldn’t get them all, obviously and that’d take even longer to do.