I say I wanna build up my blog. But sometimes I don't feel into writing a post. Doesn't help that I get five views max. That's real encouraging. So if I don't put a post in for near a month, so be it. Not that I'm being salty, but it is discouraging. But hey, it is what it is. A winner never quits and a quitter never wins. Whoever coined that needs a coin for their pockets.
Going to point number 2: When you make a tanktop or a sleeveless shirt, make sure the straps are even. No one thick strap and make a spaghetti strap out of the other. I don't care about your artistic fashion. Do that with plaster or clay, don't do that with clothes people need to wear. Then again, when idiots feel obligated to pay ten grand for something that's made by a certain person, I guess you can put a turd on a dress and make bank.
One man's trash is another man's treasure.
A closed mouth goes unfed, but a picky eater starves.
The lesser aspects of something can be the most vital keys to what makes it well, it.
Me not smiling doesn't mean that I'm sad or angry. I just don't smile, moreso when I'm not on the job. I just don't smile. Honestly, any black male that knows full well the situation his group is in in America has no reason to do so. But that's not the main reason I don't smile, though it is a factor in recent years. I imagine it's the same for men in general. Not smiling doesn't mean that he's sad or angry. It just means he chooses not to smile. I can respect that. The ones who smile, let them. I'll choose not to.
This. I fucking hate this. If you're going to put your hands in your pockets, put them in all the way! No leaving the thumbs out, no putting just the thumbs in, or any of that bullshit. I really fucking hate it and I notice it's the fashion shitheads who do it. It's fucking stupid.
You know, I've gotten really grated by, you know people using, you know, you know when they talk. You know, it's really an indication that you don't know what you're talking about, you know. Especially when I don't know what, you know, you're talking about, you know? I've been guilty of using it at times, but I've tried to, you know, stop using it. It's really filler in what could be, you know civilized discussion.
You know?
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Monday, February 10, 2014
Guess what? I made a game!
Well, sort of. It's a little something I made in RPG Maker VX Ace. It's called Monster Tower.
Now, if you're into this kind of thing, dive right in and take a look! If not, just disregard. Or share this with someone who may have a knack for it.
So the objective? You're a lone slime who wishes to challenge the trials of the Monster Tower. Along the way, you must meet up with other monsters and form pacts and bonds with them to make it to the top! What lies at the top? That's for you to find out...
Only took me two months to make from start to finish. I've fiddled with the program for a few months and I've finally gotten game out after two failed projects. It's a little rough around the edges, but it does the job right. I'm proud of it, though. A quitter never wins and a winner never quits. Now without further ado, here's the link.
And to those who can't get a game out, keep going for it, and most importantly, keep it simple. If you do too much, you get overwhelmed and you'll likely ragequit. Once again, a quitter never wins and a winner never quits.
 |
| A little generic, but it works! |
So the objective? You're a lone slime who wishes to challenge the trials of the Monster Tower. Along the way, you must meet up with other monsters and form pacts and bonds with them to make it to the top! What lies at the top? That's for you to find out...
Only took me two months to make from start to finish. I've fiddled with the program for a few months and I've finally gotten game out after two failed projects. It's a little rough around the edges, but it does the job right. I'm proud of it, though. A quitter never wins and a winner never quits. Now without further ado, here's the link.
And to those who can't get a game out, keep going for it, and most importantly, keep it simple. If you do too much, you get overwhelmed and you'll likely ragequit. Once again, a quitter never wins and a winner never quits.
Monday, February 3, 2014
Black Manual : A Handbook for the Black Male
You. Black man. You know who you are. Not the one who fits the usual criteria of what black males are seen as in our society. The one who isn't structured into that stereotype. This manual is for you. Follow it if you want, if not, fine as well.
1. Don't be the token minority
This one is important. If you are looking for friends(Which is pointless to begin with), find other black men like you. They're out there. Don't gravitate to a group of non-blacks. One thing most of these groups try to do is find a token minority so their group won't be seen as all-white and racist. They are not your friends. They are a liability towards you. You are not a friend in their circle. You are always the black friend, who has the black opinion and the black alternative to the standard. You are everything but what you intended to be to them: A friend. At least get a multicultural band of goons so you can stand on equal ground with them. Two or more of the same group will leave a unbalance.
2. Don't be the jokester
This is a very important one. One problem I have with people and how they view us is that we tell funny jokes or we're always supposed to be the funny men. There are too many comedians now. More comics than rappers. When you're a comic, people expect you to just be funny and not be serious. You have to stand strong and be direct. There's nothing wrong with making a witty snide everyone now and again, but don't do it every time. White people tend to laugh a little too hard at the black guy being the funny and wacky guy. Let the Joey Gladstones and Samuel Powers do the comic relief. We need more refined men that are respected and less of the coons. Even if they say you're a stiff blanket, be as stiff as you can be. A boy plays, a man watches his boy play.
3. Don't refrain yourself
You are a man. Do not let others say otherwise. You are a black man. Be strong. Be you. What a regular man does, you do just the same as he does. There's a stigma where a black man acts arrogant or has an ego and it's blown out of proportion. Don't let people feel safe around you. If they do, you're trapped. You're already a beast to be reckoned with. Don't let them get too close. You have to be a man. Our women are on equal terms with us. That's the reason you see more black women in media rather than us. And if we are, we're with them, we're the token, there's one half of us onscreen or we're effeminate. Be a man and don't water yourself down. If those around you can't handle the real, raw prowess of a black man, tough. Don't be an asshole altogether but keep that little sprinkle of arrogance.
4. Don't sweat the opposite sex
So you've got your priorities straight. You're dedicated, focused and faithful. You want a relationship. You're polite and a gentlemen. So what's the problem? Black men like you and me don't get dates. Smarts? Nigga please. Get that swag on. Dignity? Stupid. Wil' out and act a fool when things go wrong. Respect? You'll never see it. You are everything she doesn't want in a man. She likes drama. She wants a man that's not worth something. You are too much for her to handle. She will make an excuse not to date you. She won't even give you a chance or one date just to test the waters. And the girls who fit your criteria? They play hard to get, they're taken or they go for white men. So who's next? Non-black women. Good luck with that. They can find all you have in one of their men. But don't worry about it. The time wasted on that can go to furthering your career or goals. Make your worth and let those bitches pick the wrong men and fuck up their lives. You can laugh at them when their somewhat decent bodies get ruined by childbirth.
And avoid single mothers. That's all you have to pick from. I'm not speaking from experience, but I know who'll settle for us, Keyword. It's what you need not to do.
5. Keep to yourself
No company is better than bad company. So you've no friends or a girlfriend. So what? Stay to yourself. Be your own companion. You're better off with no friends than with people who call themselves your friends doing the exact opposite that a friend wanted to do. Even worse if you have money or fame. Should any person gain one of the two or both, this is where they become at the most vulnerable. People from the woodwork come out to be your pal or to be your lover or suddenly they want to date you. You don't need those people around you. I never kept friends for long and that's probably why I don't care to make them or look for any. It's just not in my cards. With us, we can't keep money. We have to splurge it on frivolous stuff and go buck wild. Why not invest that money into something or try to let it grow into something greater? Nope, that's stupid. The less of these fools you associate with, the better.
6. Don't falter
Stand strong. Stand tall. Do not falter. Through all of the obstacles you stand upon, you must not let them overwhelm you. I'm talking to you, the black man that keeps his pants up on his ass. The black man that doesn't speak with slang and with a limited vocabulary. The black man who isn't a chick magnet. The black man who prefers video games(Not Call of Duty or any of the non-gamer bullshit corporations shit out)and anime. The black man who dares to respect women, who dares to want to be something and keeps a level head on things. You are the ones who need uplift. Everyone hates us. We are shunned and attacked, hated and ridiculed. And even then, we must stand strong. Be strong. Swallow your tears and let it burn. Be angry. Be aggressive. Go at the world aggressively. If you have to do it alone, do it. Don't falter. Don't. Channel that frustration and go at it with finesse and determination. Your integrity is something no one can take, even when you die.
Remember that and these steps, and you can succeed in having a healthy life free of stress.
1. Don't be the token minority
This one is important. If you are looking for friends(Which is pointless to begin with), find other black men like you. They're out there. Don't gravitate to a group of non-blacks. One thing most of these groups try to do is find a token minority so their group won't be seen as all-white and racist. They are not your friends. They are a liability towards you. You are not a friend in their circle. You are always the black friend, who has the black opinion and the black alternative to the standard. You are everything but what you intended to be to them: A friend. At least get a multicultural band of goons so you can stand on equal ground with them. Two or more of the same group will leave a unbalance.
2. Don't be the jokester
This is a very important one. One problem I have with people and how they view us is that we tell funny jokes or we're always supposed to be the funny men. There are too many comedians now. More comics than rappers. When you're a comic, people expect you to just be funny and not be serious. You have to stand strong and be direct. There's nothing wrong with making a witty snide everyone now and again, but don't do it every time. White people tend to laugh a little too hard at the black guy being the funny and wacky guy. Let the Joey Gladstones and Samuel Powers do the comic relief. We need more refined men that are respected and less of the coons. Even if they say you're a stiff blanket, be as stiff as you can be. A boy plays, a man watches his boy play.
3. Don't refrain yourself
You are a man. Do not let others say otherwise. You are a black man. Be strong. Be you. What a regular man does, you do just the same as he does. There's a stigma where a black man acts arrogant or has an ego and it's blown out of proportion. Don't let people feel safe around you. If they do, you're trapped. You're already a beast to be reckoned with. Don't let them get too close. You have to be a man. Our women are on equal terms with us. That's the reason you see more black women in media rather than us. And if we are, we're with them, we're the token, there's one half of us onscreen or we're effeminate. Be a man and don't water yourself down. If those around you can't handle the real, raw prowess of a black man, tough. Don't be an asshole altogether but keep that little sprinkle of arrogance.
4. Don't sweat the opposite sex
So you've got your priorities straight. You're dedicated, focused and faithful. You want a relationship. You're polite and a gentlemen. So what's the problem? Black men like you and me don't get dates. Smarts? Nigga please. Get that swag on. Dignity? Stupid. Wil' out and act a fool when things go wrong. Respect? You'll never see it. You are everything she doesn't want in a man. She likes drama. She wants a man that's not worth something. You are too much for her to handle. She will make an excuse not to date you. She won't even give you a chance or one date just to test the waters. And the girls who fit your criteria? They play hard to get, they're taken or they go for white men. So who's next? Non-black women. Good luck with that. They can find all you have in one of their men. But don't worry about it. The time wasted on that can go to furthering your career or goals. Make your worth and let those bitches pick the wrong men and fuck up their lives. You can laugh at them when their somewhat decent bodies get ruined by childbirth.
And avoid single mothers. That's all you have to pick from. I'm not speaking from experience, but I know who'll settle for us, Keyword. It's what you need not to do.
5. Keep to yourself
No company is better than bad company. So you've no friends or a girlfriend. So what? Stay to yourself. Be your own companion. You're better off with no friends than with people who call themselves your friends doing the exact opposite that a friend wanted to do. Even worse if you have money or fame. Should any person gain one of the two or both, this is where they become at the most vulnerable. People from the woodwork come out to be your pal or to be your lover or suddenly they want to date you. You don't need those people around you. I never kept friends for long and that's probably why I don't care to make them or look for any. It's just not in my cards. With us, we can't keep money. We have to splurge it on frivolous stuff and go buck wild. Why not invest that money into something or try to let it grow into something greater? Nope, that's stupid. The less of these fools you associate with, the better.
6. Don't falter
Stand strong. Stand tall. Do not falter. Through all of the obstacles you stand upon, you must not let them overwhelm you. I'm talking to you, the black man that keeps his pants up on his ass. The black man that doesn't speak with slang and with a limited vocabulary. The black man who isn't a chick magnet. The black man who prefers video games(Not Call of Duty or any of the non-gamer bullshit corporations shit out)and anime. The black man who dares to respect women, who dares to want to be something and keeps a level head on things. You are the ones who need uplift. Everyone hates us. We are shunned and attacked, hated and ridiculed. And even then, we must stand strong. Be strong. Swallow your tears and let it burn. Be angry. Be aggressive. Go at the world aggressively. If you have to do it alone, do it. Don't falter. Don't. Channel that frustration and go at it with finesse and determination. Your integrity is something no one can take, even when you die.
Remember that and these steps, and you can succeed in having a healthy life free of stress.
Saturday, January 25, 2014
The Disaster of a Life: How to do it in a Few Easy Steps
This was a guideline I followed when I was in high school. After watching Maury nonstop and seeing girls my age get pregnant and drop out, I made it and I stuck by it adamantly. It may have been the one thing that made me into who I am today. So let's go through it step-by-step.
Clubs
Clubs are a place people go to find dates or an easy lay. They're the one place you go if you want to hitch up with someone. I avoided them(Like I was of age to even go at the time)and I do to this day. It's not worth it.
Music
Music is a way of expressing yourself and your emotions. So the right song can do just that. What plays in clubs? Dance music. Nothing wrong with dance music. I love dance music. But the lyrical content for most of them are sexual. Subtly, explicitly, they're talking about doing something relating to sex. The right song will have someone on you grinding and hugging on you in a seductive manner, male or female.
Alcohol
What do people have before pop, lock and dropping it? A drink or two. And these clubs sell some considerable stuff. So two drinks will get you all the way through. Now for the fools who go over that limit? Danger. They're the ones who either start fights or try to get some tail. You can see them before they see you, usually. And there are people who drink before going to a club and then drink more when they arrive.
Alternatively, alcohol may be substituted with drugs or pills.
Corruption
Now you have all of the above in your body, an ignorant song telling you to dance and hump, a few shots of tequila or some other alcohol, a pill that makes everything colorful and all of that mixing into a substance that tells you to drop everything and do everything you shouldn't. Someone bump into you? Get in his face for it. See a chick with some nice assets? Go for it! Wanna do something for the fuck of it? Do it! You're not in control at all, so you've no choice. It'll seem like a good idea at the time and that's when you know when you're corrupted. But you feel good. Or you feel like shit after throwing up.
Sex
Now if you came with some women, you may get one of them to bang. Or you could have gotten some floozies to come on your arm and they want you in them. Are they attractive? It depends on the person. One man's trash is another man's treasure. What looks good on the outside is poison on the inside. But even worse, you may have gotten a corrupt chick with a nice body but there an alternate scenario where you hooked up with a fat chick whose sole purpose is to cockblock all of her considerably attractive friends. And when she's not doing that, she's searching for prey. You, no longer the individual with his better judgment is in a vulnerable state. She sees you, she's going after you. And you better hope you're good on your feet. But even when you get captured, you don't care. You want to fuck, and Rosie O'Donnell looks like Ramona the supermodel to you. So you go for it and it's a lovely ride. And things go dark...
Aftermath
...and you wake up. You feel like shit. You feel horrible. Your head is pounding. Your clothes are all over the place. You're somewhere you don't know about, and you're alone. What happened? Exactly.
Sometimes, you're not alone. Next to you is a fat chick snoring. Her lipstick is smeared. And you see the exact shade on your face and crotch. Alternatively, she may be the hot chick you eyed. Great, right? Well, it's not all sunshine. Your head hurts and you feel queasy. You leave the scene as best as you can. A few days later, you feel itchy. Or sick. Or irritable. You know what happened a few days back and you go to the worst case scenario in your head. And that's what it is. Or, if you feel okay or in fact a lot better than usual, that means something's around the corner that'll put your good mood to waste. And it'll be arriving within nine months. Upon taking this path that's been paved for you, your life as is will now be a living hell. All you used to do and wanted to do will now go to waste. All because you went and made a Disaster of your Life.
Conclusion
This is how half of the population came to be, if not a third. Point is, life is screwed for them and the cycle will repeat with their kin and others like them. What are ways you can prevent this? Easy. Don't go to clubs. Simple. Don't do it. I've never been to one. And look at me. I'm miserable, but compared to the fool above, I've got it made. Don't drink. Your body doesn't need it and you'll feel good without it. It's a literal drug made legal. Look at all the nonsense that happens because of alcohol. You don't need it and it's downright expensive for good quality stuff. And lastly, avoid the drugs. Didn't you ever watch cartoons back in the day?
Do all of that, and you can avoid The Disaster of a Life. Want a Disaster of a Life? Do the opposite of what I posted in this entry.
Clubs
Clubs are a place people go to find dates or an easy lay. They're the one place you go if you want to hitch up with someone. I avoided them(Like I was of age to even go at the time)and I do to this day. It's not worth it.
Music
Music is a way of expressing yourself and your emotions. So the right song can do just that. What plays in clubs? Dance music. Nothing wrong with dance music. I love dance music. But the lyrical content for most of them are sexual. Subtly, explicitly, they're talking about doing something relating to sex. The right song will have someone on you grinding and hugging on you in a seductive manner, male or female.
Alcohol
What do people have before pop, lock and dropping it? A drink or two. And these clubs sell some considerable stuff. So two drinks will get you all the way through. Now for the fools who go over that limit? Danger. They're the ones who either start fights or try to get some tail. You can see them before they see you, usually. And there are people who drink before going to a club and then drink more when they arrive.
Alternatively, alcohol may be substituted with drugs or pills.
Corruption
Now you have all of the above in your body, an ignorant song telling you to dance and hump, a few shots of tequila or some other alcohol, a pill that makes everything colorful and all of that mixing into a substance that tells you to drop everything and do everything you shouldn't. Someone bump into you? Get in his face for it. See a chick with some nice assets? Go for it! Wanna do something for the fuck of it? Do it! You're not in control at all, so you've no choice. It'll seem like a good idea at the time and that's when you know when you're corrupted. But you feel good. Or you feel like shit after throwing up.
Sex
Now if you came with some women, you may get one of them to bang. Or you could have gotten some floozies to come on your arm and they want you in them. Are they attractive? It depends on the person. One man's trash is another man's treasure. What looks good on the outside is poison on the inside. But even worse, you may have gotten a corrupt chick with a nice body but there an alternate scenario where you hooked up with a fat chick whose sole purpose is to cockblock all of her considerably attractive friends. And when she's not doing that, she's searching for prey. You, no longer the individual with his better judgment is in a vulnerable state. She sees you, she's going after you. And you better hope you're good on your feet. But even when you get captured, you don't care. You want to fuck, and Rosie O'Donnell looks like Ramona the supermodel to you. So you go for it and it's a lovely ride. And things go dark...
Aftermath
...and you wake up. You feel like shit. You feel horrible. Your head is pounding. Your clothes are all over the place. You're somewhere you don't know about, and you're alone. What happened? Exactly.
Sometimes, you're not alone. Next to you is a fat chick snoring. Her lipstick is smeared. And you see the exact shade on your face and crotch. Alternatively, she may be the hot chick you eyed. Great, right? Well, it's not all sunshine. Your head hurts and you feel queasy. You leave the scene as best as you can. A few days later, you feel itchy. Or sick. Or irritable. You know what happened a few days back and you go to the worst case scenario in your head. And that's what it is. Or, if you feel okay or in fact a lot better than usual, that means something's around the corner that'll put your good mood to waste. And it'll be arriving within nine months. Upon taking this path that's been paved for you, your life as is will now be a living hell. All you used to do and wanted to do will now go to waste. All because you went and made a Disaster of your Life.
Conclusion
This is how half of the population came to be, if not a third. Point is, life is screwed for them and the cycle will repeat with their kin and others like them. What are ways you can prevent this? Easy. Don't go to clubs. Simple. Don't do it. I've never been to one. And look at me. I'm miserable, but compared to the fool above, I've got it made. Don't drink. Your body doesn't need it and you'll feel good without it. It's a literal drug made legal. Look at all the nonsense that happens because of alcohol. You don't need it and it's downright expensive for good quality stuff. And lastly, avoid the drugs. Didn't you ever watch cartoons back in the day?
Do all of that, and you can avoid The Disaster of a Life. Want a Disaster of a Life? Do the opposite of what I posted in this entry.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Random Ramblings
I like Full House. Let me rephrase that: I love Full House. Why? It's got this charm to it, the oh-so campiness of it, the realistic feel of the first two seasons with Pam's death and the girls coming to terms with it, the gradual retooling when the Olsens grew up and started talking(some say this is where the show went downhill)and the show becoming more lighthearted and family-friendly, the transitional period between potty training Michelle, Teenage DJ, Jesse becoming tied down and losing out on his dream to be a music star and the new generational feel of the girls and even the men growing up and going through different events in their lives while living together.
And even the characters were likeable. Danny's delicacy, Jesse's smooth yet crash nature, Joey's kid appeal, Kimmy being a nuisance and then showing us she still has a heart underneath, the dynamic that Stephanie and DJ had growing up and Michelle being the breakout character for the show. Like Urkel, she was that one factor that kept the show so popular. But unlike Family Matters, she didn't cause cast members to leave abruptly or have a trait that made way for the more bizarre antics with science. The only characters I don't like are Rebecca and those twins. They hindered Jesse from becoming a star. All that performing and all those hard hours and suddenly you get a chance to make it big and what happens? You find a woman that actually sticks around and you get not one, but two reasons to drop it all. I think they were intended to replace Michelle when she got too old to be cute. Around that time, she could no longer do the adorable shtick. Ironically, Nicky and Alex were twins and yet the twins who were featured from start to finish had that factor hidden by the producers.
Nevertheless, even with its flaws, it makes for some great TV and it beats watching middle aged women acting like high schoolers at fancy restaurants. And the actress that played Gia was STACKED. If she was only twelve, she could put some grown men in jail. This man could have fell for her at first.
Next, I want to talk about commercial rap. The term shouldn't even exist. Commercial rap is designed for people who understand the message hip-hop has but still wants to censor it because kids listen to it. Kids are going to curse and hear cursing regardless of what you do. I was cursing since four. Commercial rap is also designed by people who don't like the message hip-hop has. Not swag, rims, hoes and the like. Community resistance, uplifting said community, injustice, corruption, the results of the FBI spreading crack into the black communities and neighborhoods. Have you ever heard of any music video as of late talk about those issues? Hell, anything that sounds intelligent and informative is a red flag. This was done on purpose. Now, you have degenerate music played on TV and on the radio. But guess what? As long as the cursing is omitted, it's okay! That's right. You can make reference to sex and sexual undertones so long as the explicit words aren't used. That's okay. The dance songs are okay, too. Just three words and the same 'verse' repeated over with mild variation. But forbid someone talks about cleaning up the communities and helping the youth.
And if you curse, the Black Egotistical Tyrants have a reason to not air you on their network without directly admitting that your content is too intelligent for their viewer base.
And even the characters were likeable. Danny's delicacy, Jesse's smooth yet crash nature, Joey's kid appeal, Kimmy being a nuisance and then showing us she still has a heart underneath, the dynamic that Stephanie and DJ had growing up and Michelle being the breakout character for the show. Like Urkel, she was that one factor that kept the show so popular. But unlike Family Matters, she didn't cause cast members to leave abruptly or have a trait that made way for the more bizarre antics with science. The only characters I don't like are Rebecca and those twins. They hindered Jesse from becoming a star. All that performing and all those hard hours and suddenly you get a chance to make it big and what happens? You find a woman that actually sticks around and you get not one, but two reasons to drop it all. I think they were intended to replace Michelle when she got too old to be cute. Around that time, she could no longer do the adorable shtick. Ironically, Nicky and Alex were twins and yet the twins who were featured from start to finish had that factor hidden by the producers.
Nevertheless, even with its flaws, it makes for some great TV and it beats watching middle aged women acting like high schoolers at fancy restaurants. And the actress that played Gia was STACKED. If she was only twelve, she could put some grown men in jail. This man could have fell for her at first.
Next, I want to talk about commercial rap. The term shouldn't even exist. Commercial rap is designed for people who understand the message hip-hop has but still wants to censor it because kids listen to it. Kids are going to curse and hear cursing regardless of what you do. I was cursing since four. Commercial rap is also designed by people who don't like the message hip-hop has. Not swag, rims, hoes and the like. Community resistance, uplifting said community, injustice, corruption, the results of the FBI spreading crack into the black communities and neighborhoods. Have you ever heard of any music video as of late talk about those issues? Hell, anything that sounds intelligent and informative is a red flag. This was done on purpose. Now, you have degenerate music played on TV and on the radio. But guess what? As long as the cursing is omitted, it's okay! That's right. You can make reference to sex and sexual undertones so long as the explicit words aren't used. That's okay. The dance songs are okay, too. Just three words and the same 'verse' repeated over with mild variation. But forbid someone talks about cleaning up the communities and helping the youth.
And if you curse, the Black Egotistical Tyrants have a reason to not air you on their network without directly admitting that your content is too intelligent for their viewer base.
Friday, January 17, 2014
I Hate People: Conclusion
To end this series of posts, I'm going to say this: I don't hate people intentionally or hate them just to hate. I need reasons to dislike or hate a person and sadly, there are a lot of people out there whom I have reason to hate. Even if it's not direct and personal, I still can hate a person because of what they show in terms of personality and character. I can't stand most spoiled rich kids, fools who've not worked a day in their lives and expect everything on a silver platter. It's sickening. I can't stand the fools who think that because of their religious upbringing, makes them better than someone else who doesn't follow what they practice. Gotta love all the hatred muslims get for their appearance. Yep. They're the ones who caused 9/11. Of course. Just by appearance. I hate those people. I hate cops. I hate gossipers, I hate the government for what they do/don't do. I hate almost everyone and everything. It doesn't take much to annoy me and there's a lot that annoys me.
And while we're on the subject of appearance, gotta love how everyone considers you to be lowly and worthless because of your skin color, right? It's not even a matter of what you know or how you act, that skin is either a benefit or a curse. Some people just don't want to overlook that. Well fuck them. I'm not the ones who keep their pants down off their asses. I'm not the ones who try to scheme their way into doing less work and the like. It's frustrating and it's only a small part of what makes me hate people, but damn if it isn't the reason I've gotten severely bitter over the last few years. Both sides piss me off. The ones who perpetuate the stereotypes and the ones who judge all who look akin to the ones who perpetuate the stereotypes. I can't take it. It's also funny how some people claim what I go through is overreacting or that I have so much in my favor. Well, you know why Affirmative Action exists? Because fuckheads will automatically cast me aside based on appearance. If I'm in a college course, it's because of a handout or I'm playing sports. And guess what? Even with that fancy slip with the stamp on it, I'm still not getting hired. I'm still not getting interviews or I'm being told that the place I'm applying for isn't hiring.
It's not just jobs. It's society in general. Don't act the way you look? You're gonna catch shit for it. Black male not tattered in tattoos and jewelry? Speaks appropriately(and I hear that one from black people as well, says a lot, no?)? Wants to do something that's not rapping or shooting the J? Attack him! Make him feel bad for not doing what was forced on us by the ones in power. Whites can do whatever the hell they want and no one will bat an eye. Blacks do one thing wrong and the whole race is doomed. And even if you're picture perfect, they still hate that. Hell, they hate it more. But I don't want to make this just a racial thing. No. It's not racial at all. It's social, though racism is the result of social interaction. Based on how I carry myself, that decides everything. Be it jobs, who accepts/neglects you or women. And that last one strikes a nerve with me. Another reason I don't go for relationships. I get the scraps and the manager's specials. Pass.
There are a lot of scumbags and shitheads out there who aren't worth the time. Too many. I've been alone for a while and friendships are something I don't even consider. Now in adulthood, that has become a reality. It's that reason alone why I'm where I'm at now, why I don't have some wench draining my resources and it's why life is just a little harder for me. And for everyone similar to me, they suffer as well. But the one good thing from this all is, in spite of my experiences, all of the misanthropy made me better as a person. I don't act like an asshole intentionally anymore, and when I do, it's just playfully. But even then, I'm a much better person because of it. Just because the world is filled with hate doesn't mean I have to be hateful. But damn if that hatred isn't justified hating towards. You can love your enemy as that book of stories says but what's the use? People don't learn. Attitudes stay the same, minds cannot be changed. So let people be shitty humans then. I won't fall for it. And for the few who cross my path and judge me accordingly, good on you.
For everyone else, you only continue to give me another reason why I hate people.
And while we're on the subject of appearance, gotta love how everyone considers you to be lowly and worthless because of your skin color, right? It's not even a matter of what you know or how you act, that skin is either a benefit or a curse. Some people just don't want to overlook that. Well fuck them. I'm not the ones who keep their pants down off their asses. I'm not the ones who try to scheme their way into doing less work and the like. It's frustrating and it's only a small part of what makes me hate people, but damn if it isn't the reason I've gotten severely bitter over the last few years. Both sides piss me off. The ones who perpetuate the stereotypes and the ones who judge all who look akin to the ones who perpetuate the stereotypes. I can't take it. It's also funny how some people claim what I go through is overreacting or that I have so much in my favor. Well, you know why Affirmative Action exists? Because fuckheads will automatically cast me aside based on appearance. If I'm in a college course, it's because of a handout or I'm playing sports. And guess what? Even with that fancy slip with the stamp on it, I'm still not getting hired. I'm still not getting interviews or I'm being told that the place I'm applying for isn't hiring.
It's not just jobs. It's society in general. Don't act the way you look? You're gonna catch shit for it. Black male not tattered in tattoos and jewelry? Speaks appropriately(and I hear that one from black people as well, says a lot, no?)? Wants to do something that's not rapping or shooting the J? Attack him! Make him feel bad for not doing what was forced on us by the ones in power. Whites can do whatever the hell they want and no one will bat an eye. Blacks do one thing wrong and the whole race is doomed. And even if you're picture perfect, they still hate that. Hell, they hate it more. But I don't want to make this just a racial thing. No. It's not racial at all. It's social, though racism is the result of social interaction. Based on how I carry myself, that decides everything. Be it jobs, who accepts/neglects you or women. And that last one strikes a nerve with me. Another reason I don't go for relationships. I get the scraps and the manager's specials. Pass.
There are a lot of scumbags and shitheads out there who aren't worth the time. Too many. I've been alone for a while and friendships are something I don't even consider. Now in adulthood, that has become a reality. It's that reason alone why I'm where I'm at now, why I don't have some wench draining my resources and it's why life is just a little harder for me. And for everyone similar to me, they suffer as well. But the one good thing from this all is, in spite of my experiences, all of the misanthropy made me better as a person. I don't act like an asshole intentionally anymore, and when I do, it's just playfully. But even then, I'm a much better person because of it. Just because the world is filled with hate doesn't mean I have to be hateful. But damn if that hatred isn't justified hating towards. You can love your enemy as that book of stories says but what's the use? People don't learn. Attitudes stay the same, minds cannot be changed. So let people be shitty humans then. I won't fall for it. And for the few who cross my path and judge me accordingly, good on you.
For everyone else, you only continue to give me another reason why I hate people.
Sunday, January 12, 2014
I Hate People Part V: Social Circles
So remember what I said last post? No? Go read it then. In this world, you can have all the skill and talent that you can have and none of that won't matter if you don't know the right people. You think that ditz is giving orders because she worked hard to get to that position? You think that fat, lazy middle-aged woman is a supervisor because she knows her job well? And more importantly, you think that the CEO's of video game companies are where they at because they love video games? Please. They got there because someone they know personally recommended them to their boss. And if they don't know someone, they blew someone, which makes them known. I'm not saying that everyone in a high-end position got there because of foul play or favoritism, but knowing a good amount of people can open doors for you.
Now for the person who isn't as lucky to know the right people, what does that mean for you? It means you're staying at the same position you started at for twenty plus years. That co-worker is getting somewhere in a short time because they know someone. Family is important, too. A third cousin will get you a job or a date. Down here, everyone is family. Everyone has a connection. It's rare not to have that connection. But then again, not everyone is lucky to have such a privilege. When I saw this at my job, even when I innovated and put extra effort in the work, of course I got overlooked. It was infuriating and stressful. I was pissed off and even surlier than usual. I don't like when it happens. Hard work should be the key factor. Why is this no longer a priority? The wrong people got into power, the ones who were given their positions rather than earn it and they make the shots, the rules and decide who gets a slice of the pie. So what can you do about it? Keep working hard. Don't do it for those assholes, but for yourself. Things tend to come back, be it at work or before you die. Even if it's small, at least you got something out of it, right?
RIGHT? Yeah.
But this is pretty much the common factor in the workforce and the corporate world. The managers and the like are getting nice bonuses for the holidays and we get fifteen extra dollars and some discount seasonal items if we're quick enough to get them before the customers. For what it's worth, it was a perk, but I and many others who put a good day's effort could be getting more. For those who are looking into or may possibly become a manager or obtain a high position at whatever you work at, do the right thing. Give the lower employees their worth. If they work hard, give them that promotion and do the right thing. I'm sick of seeing this all over. Just because someone doesn't know a bunch of people doesn't make them irrelevant at all. It doesn't. Stop prioritizing superficial nonsense over what really matters. But even then, it's still a plus to know some people. But not everyone is lucky to get a friend. And the ones that people call friends are probably the last people you'd want to know anyway. This was my situation. After months of stressful nights, stressful co-workers, unpleasable customers and blatant favoritism, I couldn't handle it anymore. And I was moving to another area. I put my time into that instead. those two years of working that job taught me more than what I learned in high school. It shaped me into the person I am today and it made into a better person in the long run. Just because a large sum of the population is shitty, doesn't mean that I have to be. I thank and acknowledge everything that is being done to me when I'm out at a restaurant or in a store. Basically, what my parents taught me as a kid, I didn't forget.
Say please and thank you. And do so without an attitude.
Now for the person who isn't as lucky to know the right people, what does that mean for you? It means you're staying at the same position you started at for twenty plus years. That co-worker is getting somewhere in a short time because they know someone. Family is important, too. A third cousin will get you a job or a date. Down here, everyone is family. Everyone has a connection. It's rare not to have that connection. But then again, not everyone is lucky to have such a privilege. When I saw this at my job, even when I innovated and put extra effort in the work, of course I got overlooked. It was infuriating and stressful. I was pissed off and even surlier than usual. I don't like when it happens. Hard work should be the key factor. Why is this no longer a priority? The wrong people got into power, the ones who were given their positions rather than earn it and they make the shots, the rules and decide who gets a slice of the pie. So what can you do about it? Keep working hard. Don't do it for those assholes, but for yourself. Things tend to come back, be it at work or before you die. Even if it's small, at least you got something out of it, right?
RIGHT? Yeah.
But this is pretty much the common factor in the workforce and the corporate world. The managers and the like are getting nice bonuses for the holidays and we get fifteen extra dollars and some discount seasonal items if we're quick enough to get them before the customers. For what it's worth, it was a perk, but I and many others who put a good day's effort could be getting more. For those who are looking into or may possibly become a manager or obtain a high position at whatever you work at, do the right thing. Give the lower employees their worth. If they work hard, give them that promotion and do the right thing. I'm sick of seeing this all over. Just because someone doesn't know a bunch of people doesn't make them irrelevant at all. It doesn't. Stop prioritizing superficial nonsense over what really matters. But even then, it's still a plus to know some people. But not everyone is lucky to get a friend. And the ones that people call friends are probably the last people you'd want to know anyway. This was my situation. After months of stressful nights, stressful co-workers, unpleasable customers and blatant favoritism, I couldn't handle it anymore. And I was moving to another area. I put my time into that instead. those two years of working that job taught me more than what I learned in high school. It shaped me into the person I am today and it made into a better person in the long run. Just because a large sum of the population is shitty, doesn't mean that I have to be. I thank and acknowledge everything that is being done to me when I'm out at a restaurant or in a store. Basically, what my parents taught me as a kid, I didn't forget.
Say please and thank you. And do so without an attitude.
Thursday, January 9, 2014
I Hate People Part IV: The Workforce
We are now at 2011, where I had finally found a job at the Kroger Company. It was very convenient for me, as it was only a five minute walk from where me and mom were staying at. The job was simple and to the point: Bag, clean, pull carts, restock. Monkeys could do it. Now this is where my misanthropy and surliness developed fully and here, there was genuine reason. Let's make a list of the causes of it.
-Customers. The customer is always right? No. The customer is supposedly responsible for my check? Also no. The customer's purpose is to buy the products the store has to offer. They do not actually cause your check to become what it is when you get it. Your hours are what decides the check's value. Proof of this, I was always helpful and wanted to help the customer out. There were genuine people who needed help. I was happy to lend a hand. Now, with all of the people I helped, all the people who made my check possible, you would think on a busy day, all that assisting would pay off literally, right?
WRONG. Your check is based on the hours you spent clocked in and alternatively, if you're buddy-buddy with the higher ups. Customers only serve as a reason to buy the store's products or to make a would-be smooth day tedious. I got my share of really shitty customers whom found one thing wrong or off and that would be my ass. Be it waiting in a long line or if I didn't smile or say hello(Not that they'd respond anyway). There's a nice little review list we got that customers would post their comments on. Let me just say some of them were hilarious and not in a good way. And in terms of who we got as customers, if they weren't the unpleasable types, they were the EBT users. And I despise EBT with a passion. What was meant to help people in times of poverty is now an abused source of food and a net to trap the users in so they can never get off it. Why is it that the majority of people who used this system used it to buy junk food and things that they don't need? And it's not a usual order, this is three carts of groceries that I'm bagging. What the hell is going on? The only things you can't buy are hot food and non-food items. You can buy soda, candy, chips, cookies and a wide array of meat and seafood all in one order. And what really gets me is the line where people say, "I wish I could get a job. You're truly blessed!"
How in the flying fuck am I blessed to have a job where I make a little over a hundred dollars a week and have to ration that money from rent to necessities?! These same people who are buying steaks and shrimp are telling me I'm blessed to have a job where I can't leisurely buy those things like they can. Even if I saved up enough for a month's time, it still wasn't enough to buy what they can seamlessly over a month. And considering how everyone knows someone and everyone is having kids and whatnot, those cards are not scarce. WIC, I have no problems over because you have no say in what you can get from those slips. One customer wanted big lima beans and she couldn't. So the customer is always right? No. Never. They don't do a damn thing for your check. Don't be scared to tell one off. You're a person like they are. If they think they can use that line to their advantage, they're wrong. And the CEO's are pansies for bending down so quickly. This goes for old people who don't have an ID for their cheap wine. You being eighty is an accomplishment, but you still need ID. Sorry. You fought for my rights(What rights? The ones my group were and still are denied to this day???) to do what I do? You also fought for the rights and laws we have in effect today. I don't care how old you are, respect is earned, not inherited. I didn't smile or feel the need to after over a year of working. I was pissed off and stressed. This is what adulthood felt like. It was a reality of what people truly are. And that goes into my next point.
-Circles. Social ones to be exact. Now as you know, I didn't have these in my new environment. I was alone. A lone wolf trying to get his scraps. Now I had been there a few months before I caught wind of why social circles dominate skills and trades. I saw that people who were in my position as a Courtesy Clerk were moving up to newer positions. Be it the register or a new department. The pants kicker? I was there longer than they were. Not to undermine or insult them, they were just as competent as I was and damn awesome to boot. But why is it that because they may know a person who works in another department, they got promoted first? This made me question my overall experience and take a better look at things. You think that working hard and being quick and efficient was the key to moving up. Not that I was trying to do this but it'd be a nice way to show your worth and competence, right? Not at all. This is a key aspect of life itself and if you don't know it, you'll know now:
It's not what you know, it's who you know.
And if you don't know the right people, you ain't getting anywhere in life. No one can do it alone, so what can you do if you are alone? Try. And try your absolute hardest. But based on what I went through, your hardest isn't enough. It'll bear some fruit, but you need an orchid's worth and I didn't get that much. I'll dive into the social circle aspect some more next post. And once again, if you don't know, know this.
It's not what you know, it's who you know.
-Customers. The customer is always right? No. The customer is supposedly responsible for my check? Also no. The customer's purpose is to buy the products the store has to offer. They do not actually cause your check to become what it is when you get it. Your hours are what decides the check's value. Proof of this, I was always helpful and wanted to help the customer out. There were genuine people who needed help. I was happy to lend a hand. Now, with all of the people I helped, all the people who made my check possible, you would think on a busy day, all that assisting would pay off literally, right?
WRONG. Your check is based on the hours you spent clocked in and alternatively, if you're buddy-buddy with the higher ups. Customers only serve as a reason to buy the store's products or to make a would-be smooth day tedious. I got my share of really shitty customers whom found one thing wrong or off and that would be my ass. Be it waiting in a long line or if I didn't smile or say hello(Not that they'd respond anyway). There's a nice little review list we got that customers would post their comments on. Let me just say some of them were hilarious and not in a good way. And in terms of who we got as customers, if they weren't the unpleasable types, they were the EBT users. And I despise EBT with a passion. What was meant to help people in times of poverty is now an abused source of food and a net to trap the users in so they can never get off it. Why is it that the majority of people who used this system used it to buy junk food and things that they don't need? And it's not a usual order, this is three carts of groceries that I'm bagging. What the hell is going on? The only things you can't buy are hot food and non-food items. You can buy soda, candy, chips, cookies and a wide array of meat and seafood all in one order. And what really gets me is the line where people say, "I wish I could get a job. You're truly blessed!"
How in the flying fuck am I blessed to have a job where I make a little over a hundred dollars a week and have to ration that money from rent to necessities?! These same people who are buying steaks and shrimp are telling me I'm blessed to have a job where I can't leisurely buy those things like they can. Even if I saved up enough for a month's time, it still wasn't enough to buy what they can seamlessly over a month. And considering how everyone knows someone and everyone is having kids and whatnot, those cards are not scarce. WIC, I have no problems over because you have no say in what you can get from those slips. One customer wanted big lima beans and she couldn't. So the customer is always right? No. Never. They don't do a damn thing for your check. Don't be scared to tell one off. You're a person like they are. If they think they can use that line to their advantage, they're wrong. And the CEO's are pansies for bending down so quickly. This goes for old people who don't have an ID for their cheap wine. You being eighty is an accomplishment, but you still need ID. Sorry. You fought for my rights(What rights? The ones my group were and still are denied to this day???) to do what I do? You also fought for the rights and laws we have in effect today. I don't care how old you are, respect is earned, not inherited. I didn't smile or feel the need to after over a year of working. I was pissed off and stressed. This is what adulthood felt like. It was a reality of what people truly are. And that goes into my next point.
-Circles. Social ones to be exact. Now as you know, I didn't have these in my new environment. I was alone. A lone wolf trying to get his scraps. Now I had been there a few months before I caught wind of why social circles dominate skills and trades. I saw that people who were in my position as a Courtesy Clerk were moving up to newer positions. Be it the register or a new department. The pants kicker? I was there longer than they were. Not to undermine or insult them, they were just as competent as I was and damn awesome to boot. But why is it that because they may know a person who works in another department, they got promoted first? This made me question my overall experience and take a better look at things. You think that working hard and being quick and efficient was the key to moving up. Not that I was trying to do this but it'd be a nice way to show your worth and competence, right? Not at all. This is a key aspect of life itself and if you don't know it, you'll know now:
It's not what you know, it's who you know.
And if you don't know the right people, you ain't getting anywhere in life. No one can do it alone, so what can you do if you are alone? Try. And try your absolute hardest. But based on what I went through, your hardest isn't enough. It'll bear some fruit, but you need an orchid's worth and I didn't get that much. I'll dive into the social circle aspect some more next post. And once again, if you don't know, know this.
It's not what you know, it's who you know.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
I Hate People Part III
Continuing my personal tale of misanthropy, I had gained friends and friendships. However, due to my grandmother's death in 2005, she left us some property. Two years later, it was settled that we were moving down to Georgia to tend to it. After school ended in 2008, I was slated to leave. I spent one good day with my friends, doing stuff and acknowledging their company. It was a good feeling. A feeling I haven't felt since. July of 2008, I left New York without even a single goodbye. Mom was already sad having to leave her friends as well, but at least she was able to call them. I thought too much about New York and the elements I grew up around. I had relatives and all that down south but I was a donkey in a horserace. I felt out of touch. Going forward to senior year, it was a new experience. My last year in school and it wasn't with the people who I started high school with. Everyone spoke considerably worse English, everyone else on average was different than what I usually dealt with, it was a shock. Now that doesn't mean that everyone was bad, but I didn't gain any friends, period. Take the time to think about that one.
Now, for my last year, I didn't really argue with people. I was pretty much to myself. If anyone came to me, it was peacefully, mostly. Questions were asked, but I didn't feel threatened. The only time I dealt with pains in the ass were with freshmen and those little tarts aren't worth losing your attendance over(and in this new environment, your life). Otherwise, it was a mixed bag. One thing I took wind of was the amount of pregnancies I saw. Three times the amount I saw in my old school. This made me reconsider wanting to take the initiative. What I would see later on in life would be one of the main reasons I hate modern society. But let's keep it chronologically in order. There were some like-minded people that shared my interests, but they were a little young. I had to keep some distance. My shell that I was slowly coming out of was shut tight again. And I'll just say this: Compared to what I encountered in New York, what I saw in Georgia and Savannah High were three steps below. Poverty-ridden students, pregnant girls all over, it was a mess. And the attitudes were slightly worse. I went through a literal culture shock. It didn't help that I got sick in graduation. That sullied my last year in high school, which was done for to begin with.
Now, upon being able to heal, I was pissed off. Not a friend to connect with, not a prom to go to, nothing memorable save for three teachers who were awesome. I didn't like my last year. I look back and realize I could have gotten some long-lasting relationships, maybe went to my prom, possibly gotten a high school fling and the like. But nope. We moved for property that we had to give up anyway. And I later found out we could have stayed in NY and be somewhat better off than we are now.
Isn't life grand? You never know what it'll throw at you.
Now, for my last year, I didn't really argue with people. I was pretty much to myself. If anyone came to me, it was peacefully, mostly. Questions were asked, but I didn't feel threatened. The only time I dealt with pains in the ass were with freshmen and those little tarts aren't worth losing your attendance over(and in this new environment, your life). Otherwise, it was a mixed bag. One thing I took wind of was the amount of pregnancies I saw. Three times the amount I saw in my old school. This made me reconsider wanting to take the initiative. What I would see later on in life would be one of the main reasons I hate modern society. But let's keep it chronologically in order. There were some like-minded people that shared my interests, but they were a little young. I had to keep some distance. My shell that I was slowly coming out of was shut tight again. And I'll just say this: Compared to what I encountered in New York, what I saw in Georgia and Savannah High were three steps below. Poverty-ridden students, pregnant girls all over, it was a mess. And the attitudes were slightly worse. I went through a literal culture shock. It didn't help that I got sick in graduation. That sullied my last year in high school, which was done for to begin with.
Now, upon being able to heal, I was pissed off. Not a friend to connect with, not a prom to go to, nothing memorable save for three teachers who were awesome. I didn't like my last year. I look back and realize I could have gotten some long-lasting relationships, maybe went to my prom, possibly gotten a high school fling and the like. But nope. We moved for property that we had to give up anyway. And I later found out we could have stayed in NY and be somewhat better off than we are now.
Isn't life grand? You never know what it'll throw at you.
Monday, January 6, 2014
I Hate People Part II
So, by now you already know my deal with people. They're shitty. Point blank. Now continuing from my last post, middle school is where my hatred for people and my development of misanthropy started. Now, the adults were supportive of me. That much I can say. Anyone in my age range? Few in between and I didn't see them after I moved on to high school.
Freshman year. A new environment and new people. Now, what happened? I found acquaintances. They were nice and didn't do that typical ignorant nonsense I'd expect from other peers. They were okay. Of course, there had to be one. And it was one individual who to this day I have disdain for. He didn't make things easy for me in the beginning. But of course, when I showed some aggression, I can't take a joke. I'm too serious. I'm gonna shoot up the school, according to a classmate that migrated from my middle school with me. While I will plead guilty to having those thoughts and they are fun as hell to replay mentally, common sense told me not to do so.
Now I wanna rewind back to 2003. I went away to Life Tech Ventures for a month. It was a fulfilling experience and I learned and saw a lot of things. It would be perfect were it not for two reasons: My party whom I came with. This is where the torment started. There was one individual that was fifteen who enjoyed doing this to me. I wanted to punch his fat fucking face. I didn't have to see him for the third week. But that's where reason two comes in: Mom forgot to pack a blanket. I caught a fever. My temperature was 103.8. That sullied the whole trip. But for what it's worth, everyone was supportive of me and wished for a full recovery. Thanks to everyone who did that. If I could, I'd hug you all.
Too much positivity. Back to reality, that one who tormented me was already in my blacklist. But of course, there were more. So many more. However I can admit at this point, not everyone was out to pick meat off my bones. This is where I felt more hatred for myself and people, but mainly myself. The ones who were nice to me, I attacked. I did it out of fear of being hurt. It wasn't a good feeling. I've tried to repent for it and lucky to say, I did it with a few people, then and recently. Facebook for what it's worth does serve a purpose other than corporations trying to wire in on modern social connections for statistics and the like. But moving on. Around sophomore year, things got a little more...bearable. Same people I hated, gave me more reason to hate them(indirectly, but an asshole is an asshole.). I had some eyes from female classmates on me. But I was not about to get any of them pregnant. Thank you illogical relatives and Maury Povich. That man has made more money off black teenage ignorance than fashion lines and rap music combined. Looking back, one little taste wouldn't have hurt, right? Lost opportunity. But when I would reach my senior year, this would be something I'd have a split view on.
Around this time, I gained friends. Shocker. Yep. Three main ones, a few more secondary ones. This was getting to me a lot because I was really in a state of chaos(overeating, I know)and this happened. The teasing was at this point just that - teasing. It didn't bother me at all anymore. I could really shake that shit off with no problem. I think it was true what they said about high school being the high point of your life. So much to do and so many people to connect with. I even had some(SOME)changes of heart. This bleeds straight into junior year, which was probably my best year of school after sixth grade. 2007 was untouchable. So many good things happened to me. Outside of school, and in school. Now, what does this have to do with hating people? Well, if you go back to the beginning, I said that whenever I gain some friendships, I lose them before I know it. I can't keep friends for some reason. And Facebook was starting up around this time, but before that was the scourge known as MySpace. Women who post ass and tit pics as their avatars wanting friends non-stop. This was the first of many steps to ruining my life. What they are? I'll tell you in the future. But moving on. I gained more friends, strengthened the friendships I had and I even connected with them. But like all good things, they must come to an end.
Tune in for the next part of this wonderful journey into my closet.
Freshman year. A new environment and new people. Now, what happened? I found acquaintances. They were nice and didn't do that typical ignorant nonsense I'd expect from other peers. They were okay. Of course, there had to be one. And it was one individual who to this day I have disdain for. He didn't make things easy for me in the beginning. But of course, when I showed some aggression, I can't take a joke. I'm too serious. I'm gonna shoot up the school, according to a classmate that migrated from my middle school with me. While I will plead guilty to having those thoughts and they are fun as hell to replay mentally, common sense told me not to do so.
Now I wanna rewind back to 2003. I went away to Life Tech Ventures for a month. It was a fulfilling experience and I learned and saw a lot of things. It would be perfect were it not for two reasons: My party whom I came with. This is where the torment started. There was one individual that was fifteen who enjoyed doing this to me. I wanted to punch his fat fucking face. I didn't have to see him for the third week. But that's where reason two comes in: Mom forgot to pack a blanket. I caught a fever. My temperature was 103.8. That sullied the whole trip. But for what it's worth, everyone was supportive of me and wished for a full recovery. Thanks to everyone who did that. If I could, I'd hug you all.
Too much positivity. Back to reality, that one who tormented me was already in my blacklist. But of course, there were more. So many more. However I can admit at this point, not everyone was out to pick meat off my bones. This is where I felt more hatred for myself and people, but mainly myself. The ones who were nice to me, I attacked. I did it out of fear of being hurt. It wasn't a good feeling. I've tried to repent for it and lucky to say, I did it with a few people, then and recently. Facebook for what it's worth does serve a purpose other than corporations trying to wire in on modern social connections for statistics and the like. But moving on. Around sophomore year, things got a little more...bearable. Same people I hated, gave me more reason to hate them(indirectly, but an asshole is an asshole.). I had some eyes from female classmates on me. But I was not about to get any of them pregnant. Thank you illogical relatives and Maury Povich. That man has made more money off black teenage ignorance than fashion lines and rap music combined. Looking back, one little taste wouldn't have hurt, right? Lost opportunity. But when I would reach my senior year, this would be something I'd have a split view on.
Around this time, I gained friends. Shocker. Yep. Three main ones, a few more secondary ones. This was getting to me a lot because I was really in a state of chaos(overeating, I know)and this happened. The teasing was at this point just that - teasing. It didn't bother me at all anymore. I could really shake that shit off with no problem. I think it was true what they said about high school being the high point of your life. So much to do and so many people to connect with. I even had some(SOME)changes of heart. This bleeds straight into junior year, which was probably my best year of school after sixth grade. 2007 was untouchable. So many good things happened to me. Outside of school, and in school. Now, what does this have to do with hating people? Well, if you go back to the beginning, I said that whenever I gain some friendships, I lose them before I know it. I can't keep friends for some reason. And Facebook was starting up around this time, but before that was the scourge known as MySpace. Women who post ass and tit pics as their avatars wanting friends non-stop. This was the first of many steps to ruining my life. What they are? I'll tell you in the future. But moving on. I gained more friends, strengthened the friendships I had and I even connected with them. But like all good things, they must come to an end.
Tune in for the next part of this wonderful journey into my closet.
Sunday, January 5, 2014
I Hate People
As far as I can remember, I've come to realize this one thing.
People are terrible. How terrible? Very. As a first grader who was friendly with a lot of old classmates from kindergarten, I realized that the feelings I had for them weren't exchanged back the way I expected them to be. Because of the fact that I had on glasses, I got the usual four-eyes sneers and words similar to it. Now this makes you think, this was only elementary school. People grow up, don't they? Hell no, they don't. I didn't have friends at all unless I had stuff or gave them stuff. It's funny how people want to be around you when you get something. Rappers and celebrities know this one all too well. It's the same with the common man(child). If I had Pokémon cards, I had people who wanted to trade/talk with me. Didn't have that? None of that happened. And isn't it funny how when you do get some people who you can call a 'friend', fate makes it so you can't stick with them for long?
Yep. As soon as sixth grade passed, the people who I got acquainted with went their separate ways. And this is before MySpace and Facebook. You didn't have any way to contact them like you do now. So, goodbye friends, hello newfound enemies. Middle school happened. If I didn't get teased for my glasses, it was my voice and this is what drove me to dislike people tenfold. Can't overlook something you have no control over, nope. Gotta tease and make fun of them for it. And if you dare get violent or show some aggression, you can't take a joke. I was jus' playin' wit ya, damn. I don't get how pushing and throwing books at me is playing around. Maybe if I killed you and said that same thing, you and everyone else would think otherwise, no? Your childhood years and especially your adolescent years are the prime years for your growth and development. If you aren't seeing things happen to you that are good, if you aren't around people who want you to succeed or rather help you, you're gonna turn out bad. The adults gave a shit, thankfully. The kids?
HAH! They can all burn for all I care. But like elementary, I gained some people who I could call 'friends'(I don't use the word loosely). And guess what happened? New school, new people to hate, more people to lose out on. And again, this was before Facebook and MySpace. Kids had cell phones, but why are thirteen year-olds on their cells during class to begin with? I feel as though in middle school, I was the only one who was supposed to be there. Everyone else was around fourteen, fifteen at the most. One seventeen year-old gave me a nice battle scar on two of my teeth. Dickhead. Why the fuck is a seventeen year-old in fucking middle school??? What the fuck was going on with that? I can imagine who else he attacked. He's proof public school is cancer. A lot of classmates were proof of that alone. But it also solidified my views on the world and people. And that is...
People are shitty. And this is just the beginning.
People are terrible. How terrible? Very. As a first grader who was friendly with a lot of old classmates from kindergarten, I realized that the feelings I had for them weren't exchanged back the way I expected them to be. Because of the fact that I had on glasses, I got the usual four-eyes sneers and words similar to it. Now this makes you think, this was only elementary school. People grow up, don't they? Hell no, they don't. I didn't have friends at all unless I had stuff or gave them stuff. It's funny how people want to be around you when you get something. Rappers and celebrities know this one all too well. It's the same with the common man(child). If I had Pokémon cards, I had people who wanted to trade/talk with me. Didn't have that? None of that happened. And isn't it funny how when you do get some people who you can call a 'friend', fate makes it so you can't stick with them for long?
Yep. As soon as sixth grade passed, the people who I got acquainted with went their separate ways. And this is before MySpace and Facebook. You didn't have any way to contact them like you do now. So, goodbye friends, hello newfound enemies. Middle school happened. If I didn't get teased for my glasses, it was my voice and this is what drove me to dislike people tenfold. Can't overlook something you have no control over, nope. Gotta tease and make fun of them for it. And if you dare get violent or show some aggression, you can't take a joke. I was jus' playin' wit ya, damn. I don't get how pushing and throwing books at me is playing around. Maybe if I killed you and said that same thing, you and everyone else would think otherwise, no? Your childhood years and especially your adolescent years are the prime years for your growth and development. If you aren't seeing things happen to you that are good, if you aren't around people who want you to succeed or rather help you, you're gonna turn out bad. The adults gave a shit, thankfully. The kids?
HAH! They can all burn for all I care. But like elementary, I gained some people who I could call 'friends'(I don't use the word loosely). And guess what happened? New school, new people to hate, more people to lose out on. And again, this was before Facebook and MySpace. Kids had cell phones, but why are thirteen year-olds on their cells during class to begin with? I feel as though in middle school, I was the only one who was supposed to be there. Everyone else was around fourteen, fifteen at the most. One seventeen year-old gave me a nice battle scar on two of my teeth. Dickhead. Why the fuck is a seventeen year-old in fucking middle school??? What the fuck was going on with that? I can imagine who else he attacked. He's proof public school is cancer. A lot of classmates were proof of that alone. But it also solidified my views on the world and people. And that is...
People are shitty. And this is just the beginning.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Time to vent: My own views on the world and people: Reality Televison
One thing I've hated for over a decade?
Reality shows. These have to be the worst pieces of television programming to ever be thought of or created. Basically you take some cameramen and you film your everyday life. That was the basis of it. Now that people eat this shit up like a pig at a slop bin, everyone is doing a reality show now. And the drama is forced and turned up for the sake of ratings.
The only ones that had some purpose were the ones that had you switch out a parent. Trading Spouses was okay, it showed a realistic scenario. The drama was relatable due to cultural differences at least. It wasn't forced at all. Eventually I stopped watching it because some of the people on that show made me angry by watching them be dicks or assholes for no reason. One particular episode had a white mother be with a black family and she may as well have put them in chains and rags. And, there were three more shows like it coming on other networks. TV in general isn't worth watching. I have a very selective set of shows I watch and 80% of them are old sitcoms or programs that aired already in another country. I do not follow any of the modern reality shows at all let alone modern-day television and make it a rule to avoid them entirely, especially the black reality shows. The Real Housewives of Atlanta, I've watched second-hand. Just what I wanted to see, some middle-aged women acting like they were in high school- scratch that, middle school. If I wanted to watch ignorant black women, I'd go to WorldStarHipHop.
But the main reality show I really have come to hate is American Idol. I hate this fucking show. Hate, hate, HATE this show. I hear the same stories each time a new season premieres:
"This is what I've been waiting for my entire life."
"I am the next American Idol."
"It's my dream to be onstage."
First off, you're one person against tens of millions of people, maybe even more. You've been waiting for a chance to sing, only to have whoever replaced Simon Cowell to tell you to get out. He's the only one I can respect, as he tells most of these people what they need to hear instead of what they want to hear. Now, I know it seems rude and harsh, but considering how many people embarrass themselves on that wretched show, it needs to be said and some feelings need to be hurt. And the one reason I've come to hate American Idol is that everyone has made a fucking show like it. Even fucking FOX made a similar show with the same judges. I don't know what it was called, but it's no longer on their network. I don't watch that shit to begin with. If it is still on, shame on them. If not, shame on them still for wasting money on a clone. And these knockoffs always have a surly Brit like Simon to be a mean-spirited dick. They aren't even trying to hide it. And people watch this. Why? Shows like these are stupid, formulaic and a waste of time. Television is so oversaturated with these reality shows that you can't even tell what's what now. It's literally the same damn thing. I know of one instance where BET had black versions of reality shows that premiered on FOX, CBS and the like. They were pure shit. You were better off watching the originals(if you could even call them that, they stopped being just that around 2006).
Back to the special snowflakes who wanna be the next American Idol, it ain't happening. You're one person against millions of other people. You aren't gonna make it. And if you do, congratulations. You hit the lottery. But then again, you could have hit the lottery. Instead, you're gonna get a deal with a label that might just screw you out of royalties. But even the losers may just get a bar of copper. And if you don't? Well, try harder. Hell, you could go on YouTube and play or sing your song. If you really want that chance that American Idolwasn't going to didn't give you, get a camera and show them what you can do. You might just get lucky.
Lastly, I'm going to say this about reality shows. They're up there with the internet stardom fools I mentioned in my last post. I'm convinced they're the cause of television and maybe the population going downhill. Proof of this? The fact that there are so many to begin with. People put ratings to these shows but an actual television show that dare tries something informative or gives you a reason to watch gets cancelled or chopped before it even got a chance. You don't even have to write a script(Yes, there's a script involved in a program that doesn't require one). Just put two people who hate each other in the same room and let the cameras roll.
Once again, If I wanted to see a bunch of adults act like children, I'd go on the internet and look at them.
Reality shows. These have to be the worst pieces of television programming to ever be thought of or created. Basically you take some cameramen and you film your everyday life. That was the basis of it. Now that people eat this shit up like a pig at a slop bin, everyone is doing a reality show now. And the drama is forced and turned up for the sake of ratings.
The only ones that had some purpose were the ones that had you switch out a parent. Trading Spouses was okay, it showed a realistic scenario. The drama was relatable due to cultural differences at least. It wasn't forced at all. Eventually I stopped watching it because some of the people on that show made me angry by watching them be dicks or assholes for no reason. One particular episode had a white mother be with a black family and she may as well have put them in chains and rags. And, there were three more shows like it coming on other networks. TV in general isn't worth watching. I have a very selective set of shows I watch and 80% of them are old sitcoms or programs that aired already in another country. I do not follow any of the modern reality shows at all let alone modern-day television and make it a rule to avoid them entirely, especially the black reality shows. The Real Housewives of Atlanta, I've watched second-hand. Just what I wanted to see, some middle-aged women acting like they were in high school- scratch that, middle school. If I wanted to watch ignorant black women, I'd go to WorldStarHipHop.
But the main reality show I really have come to hate is American Idol. I hate this fucking show. Hate, hate, HATE this show. I hear the same stories each time a new season premieres:
"This is what I've been waiting for my entire life."
"I am the next American Idol."
"It's my dream to be onstage."
First off, you're one person against tens of millions of people, maybe even more. You've been waiting for a chance to sing, only to have whoever replaced Simon Cowell to tell you to get out. He's the only one I can respect, as he tells most of these people what they need to hear instead of what they want to hear. Now, I know it seems rude and harsh, but considering how many people embarrass themselves on that wretched show, it needs to be said and some feelings need to be hurt. And the one reason I've come to hate American Idol is that everyone has made a fucking show like it. Even fucking FOX made a similar show with the same judges. I don't know what it was called, but it's no longer on their network. I don't watch that shit to begin with. If it is still on, shame on them. If not, shame on them still for wasting money on a clone. And these knockoffs always have a surly Brit like Simon to be a mean-spirited dick. They aren't even trying to hide it. And people watch this. Why? Shows like these are stupid, formulaic and a waste of time. Television is so oversaturated with these reality shows that you can't even tell what's what now. It's literally the same damn thing. I know of one instance where BET had black versions of reality shows that premiered on FOX, CBS and the like. They were pure shit. You were better off watching the originals(if you could even call them that, they stopped being just that around 2006).
Back to the special snowflakes who wanna be the next American Idol, it ain't happening. You're one person against millions of other people. You aren't gonna make it. And if you do, congratulations. You hit the lottery. But then again, you could have hit the lottery. Instead, you're gonna get a deal with a label that might just screw you out of royalties. But even the losers may just get a bar of copper. And if you don't? Well, try harder. Hell, you could go on YouTube and play or sing your song. If you really want that chance that American Idol
Lastly, I'm going to say this about reality shows. They're up there with the internet stardom fools I mentioned in my last post. I'm convinced they're the cause of television and maybe the population going downhill. Proof of this? The fact that there are so many to begin with. People put ratings to these shows but an actual television show that dare tries something informative or gives you a reason to watch gets cancelled or chopped before it even got a chance. You don't even have to write a script(Yes, there's a script involved in a program that doesn't require one). Just put two people who hate each other in the same room and let the cameras roll.
Once again, If I wanted to see a bunch of adults act like children, I'd go on the internet and look at them.
Friday, January 3, 2014
Time to vent: My own views on the world and people: Internet Stardom
The internet has grown considerably in the last few years. For me, this was around 2004. It was a simple place, with some interesting things about it. Porn, funny pictures, you name it. There were also videos online as well, though with dialup, that was just a pipe dream. Fast forward to around 2006, there was this lovely little site called YouTube, where people uploaded videos of any kind. It was also exciting and amazing, despite my limited internet connection. 2007, I finally had broadband and could load a sixteen-minute video with no problem. Things were good.
However, as quickly as things get popular, they also tend to take a downfall in quality and integrity. With the YouTube craze, you had people posting videos of themselves doing things or having things unintentionally happening to them. They would become features on the morning news. It was a new way of people becoming famous. Some people, like Tay Zonday who actually had talent deserved that bit of exposure. Some people, like Chris Crocker, whose main video was of him making an ass out of himself, do not deserve fame and money. There are other people who would go on to make a name for themselves via YouTube and the site itself set up a YouTube Partners program for people who want their voices heard. For some, it was a good way to make money and a name for themselves once again.
But, as with some people, monkey see, monkey do. Because of some people posting a video of a baby laughing while its parent tries to feed it, who did not intend to capitalize on that video and merely posted it with the original purpose YouTube was intended for, now every parent and idiot Joe with a video/camera phone are posting videos of their little bundle of joy doing something 'cute' or themselves acting like asses, hoping it exceeds fifty million views or gets them a feature on the morning news. Newsflash: You're not gonna get popular overnight like those people did, let alone at all. Tay Zonday got to where he is because he unintentionally had a standout voice and 4Chan got wind of it. The countless videos of babies got popular because of the reason stated at the beginning of this paragraph. You aren't at that level because you're aware of the potential fame and stardom that can come of it and as a result, you namedrop YouTube before you film your shitty video of your friend backflipping from a six-foot wall or some dumb blonde drunk off her ass and swaying in a dark parking lot. People have sense enough to know what's done for the sake of views and what's done because of genuine self-interest. There's a reason they thumbs down your videos and call you an idiot.
And you're not original in the slightest. Many other fools have discovered YouTube and are posting their videos of whatever on it as well. You're going to have to try better than that. And I oughta not say that, because you don't need to try at all. Now with these same people who tried to become an internet star, they're making it so that other people who are coming in now are getting fed and paid better by posting shitty videos than people who are out there working back-breaking hours for pennies. Dare I say, it's infuriating to see Fred(Ugh)make it to where he is by speeding up his videos and acting like a kid on sugar. And even worse is...Lohanthony. Look it up yourself.
As embarrassing as those two are to an extent, there are many others who are just as embarrassing who don't get fame, money or a movie. They get laughed at and embarrassed. At best, they'll appear on Tosh.0(Keep in mind I do like that show, but almost all the people who appear on it deserve all the ridicule they get). At worst, people will know them for being that idiot whose face is no longer the same from falling off a ledge or something similar to it. And they deserve it. Because they aren't talented nor worth the energy to watch their antics. Take the initiative and work for your stardom. Just because a few got famous overnight doesn't mean you will. Learn from the idiots and avoid yourself the embarrassment.
However, as quickly as things get popular, they also tend to take a downfall in quality and integrity. With the YouTube craze, you had people posting videos of themselves doing things or having things unintentionally happening to them. They would become features on the morning news. It was a new way of people becoming famous. Some people, like Tay Zonday who actually had talent deserved that bit of exposure. Some people, like Chris Crocker, whose main video was of him making an ass out of himself, do not deserve fame and money. There are other people who would go on to make a name for themselves via YouTube and the site itself set up a YouTube Partners program for people who want their voices heard. For some, it was a good way to make money and a name for themselves once again.
But, as with some people, monkey see, monkey do. Because of some people posting a video of a baby laughing while its parent tries to feed it, who did not intend to capitalize on that video and merely posted it with the original purpose YouTube was intended for, now every parent and idiot Joe with a video/camera phone are posting videos of their little bundle of joy doing something 'cute' or themselves acting like asses, hoping it exceeds fifty million views or gets them a feature on the morning news. Newsflash: You're not gonna get popular overnight like those people did, let alone at all. Tay Zonday got to where he is because he unintentionally had a standout voice and 4Chan got wind of it. The countless videos of babies got popular because of the reason stated at the beginning of this paragraph. You aren't at that level because you're aware of the potential fame and stardom that can come of it and as a result, you namedrop YouTube before you film your shitty video of your friend backflipping from a six-foot wall or some dumb blonde drunk off her ass and swaying in a dark parking lot. People have sense enough to know what's done for the sake of views and what's done because of genuine self-interest. There's a reason they thumbs down your videos and call you an idiot.
And you're not original in the slightest. Many other fools have discovered YouTube and are posting their videos of whatever on it as well. You're going to have to try better than that. And I oughta not say that, because you don't need to try at all. Now with these same people who tried to become an internet star, they're making it so that other people who are coming in now are getting fed and paid better by posting shitty videos than people who are out there working back-breaking hours for pennies. Dare I say, it's infuriating to see Fred(Ugh)make it to where he is by speeding up his videos and acting like a kid on sugar. And even worse is...Lohanthony. Look it up yourself.
As embarrassing as those two are to an extent, there are many others who are just as embarrassing who don't get fame, money or a movie. They get laughed at and embarrassed. At best, they'll appear on Tosh.0(Keep in mind I do like that show, but almost all the people who appear on it deserve all the ridicule they get). At worst, people will know them for being that idiot whose face is no longer the same from falling off a ledge or something similar to it. And they deserve it. Because they aren't talented nor worth the energy to watch their antics. Take the initiative and work for your stardom. Just because a few got famous overnight doesn't mean you will. Learn from the idiots and avoid yourself the embarrassment.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Time to vent: My own views on the world and people: Consumerism
The economy is poor and you're struggling to pay bills. Not just you, but practically a third to half of the country is on hard times. We can't afford gas, electricity or the basic necessities we need. Money is a big issue. If that's true, then why is it that people in these hard times can still pull ten bucks from their pockets for a movie and the film grosses $200 million dollars in the box office?
Consumerism. This is one I don't get.
Why do we put so much money onto frivolous things that we do not need? Do we need a big screen TV? Do we need that Prius? Do we need to buy stuff we don't need? Why is that? If times are hard, why not put that money into food or things you'll need and put that Blu-Ray player aside for a moment. Scratch that- don't buy it to begin with. You don't need it. You can get a DVD player for dirt cheap. I have one that I play games on. But I digress. The point is, if we really are doing so bad with jobs and rising taxes, shouldn't we save every cent we have? I get that a night at the movies or going to a dank bar with friends can make that pain go away briefly but it's borderlining on escapism. You can't escape the fact that your refrigerator is empty or the electricity that powers it will get cut off if you don't make that payment.
I think we're at a point in life where we try to live the lives of other people. Celebrities on TV(whom you shouldn't be watching to begin with)may have expensive cars or other materialistic items, but that's because they earned(and I use that term loosely considering the ones who sign their checks)enough money to do just that and still live to pay bills. You and me are just regular nobodies who may or may not have income coming in. We can't just piss away $500 on a phone like they can. Some people have to work a week or in my case, a damn month plus just to have that much and this isn't counting the amount rent and the usual necessities deduct from it.. And for those who can earn $500 plus a week, good on you. You still don't need that IPhone. They're just gonna release another model two months later. You can't be the Kardashians, you can't be Young Money, you can't be any of those celebrities. You can only be you. And you have bills to pay and possibly a family to tend to, so get on it and leave that Kindle tablet or whatever the hell people are reading on nowadays where you saw it.
Happy 2014!
Consumerism. This is one I don't get.
Why do we put so much money onto frivolous things that we do not need? Do we need a big screen TV? Do we need that Prius? Do we need to buy stuff we don't need? Why is that? If times are hard, why not put that money into food or things you'll need and put that Blu-Ray player aside for a moment. Scratch that- don't buy it to begin with. You don't need it. You can get a DVD player for dirt cheap. I have one that I play games on. But I digress. The point is, if we really are doing so bad with jobs and rising taxes, shouldn't we save every cent we have? I get that a night at the movies or going to a dank bar with friends can make that pain go away briefly but it's borderlining on escapism. You can't escape the fact that your refrigerator is empty or the electricity that powers it will get cut off if you don't make that payment.
I think we're at a point in life where we try to live the lives of other people. Celebrities on TV(whom you shouldn't be watching to begin with)may have expensive cars or other materialistic items, but that's because they earned(and I use that term loosely considering the ones who sign their checks)enough money to do just that and still live to pay bills. You and me are just regular nobodies who may or may not have income coming in. We can't just piss away $500 on a phone like they can. Some people have to work a week or in my case, a damn month plus just to have that much and this isn't counting the amount rent and the usual necessities deduct from it.. And for those who can earn $500 plus a week, good on you. You still don't need that IPhone. They're just gonna release another model two months later. You can't be the Kardashians, you can't be Young Money, you can't be any of those celebrities. You can only be you. And you have bills to pay and possibly a family to tend to, so get on it and leave that Kindle tablet or whatever the hell people are reading on nowadays where you saw it.
Happy 2014!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)