My life as an Atheist Part II: Eccentric Boogaboo

 

 

So last year, I did a post explaining my path to becoming an atheist. As of 2021, I am still an atheist and a no-good heathen. So let's continue where we left off.

I had moved to Savannah with my mother at the age of sixteen due to owning some property left by my grandmother who died in 2005. Getting down there, it was a gradual experience and I was slated to do my last year of high school there. It was around this time where I really questioned if god existed or not and doing my own research and looking at the state of the world, I ultimately decided that there was no god.

December 2008 was the moment I finally came out as an atheist to my mother. And that was a bad idea. As I learned years later, the black community in America and hell, most of the world are devout worshipers and blind supporters of an invisible man in the sky. I questioned my mother on why he exists and what has he really done. She simply told me "There is a god." 

That's it. That's no way to really explain it, but it also reminded me that most black people voted for Barrack Hussein Obama simply because...he's black. 

See the trend?

My mother never stopped loving me, and that shows that despite our differences, we still could come together and act as family. But I dare not mention this to my other family members, and thankfully she didn't either.

However, I made another mistake of trusting my beliefs (or lack thereof) with my brother, who came down to Savannah a year later. Around the area we stayed in, there were at least five churches within the vicinity. Yes, five. All within walking distance. We went to a church only two minutes away for a brown bag program, a program where you show your ID, sign a paper and get a grab bag of random food items donated. It was an ideal system for a newfound adult trying to find his own place and job, and the church makes an obligation to accept everyone through their doors...something that one church in South Carolina would regret many years later, but before I get to that, the incident with my brother.

I only went because of the free bag of food. I asked my brother if he believed in god and told him I didn't. Suddenly, he becomes biblical and starts questioning me ten times over. Fine and well. We had a brotherly conversation.

What I was not expecting was him telling a stranger about my lack of beliefs and then that stranger told her equally strange friend about my lack of belief. So I had to endure ten minutes of these two people who I never saw again basically chastising me for not believing in god. I expect this from my family, but some stranger, fuck that. And the worst part is this was someone I trusted. You don't do that to your own family. Personal matters like that should stay within the people you trust, not someone you barely talked to for a minute.

Thankfully, he didn't relay my lack of beliefs to other family members. But still, that was uncalled for.

Dialing back to high school, I casually mentioned that I was an atheist to some of my classmates. No fire or hell tossed my way, but I did get a very good insight on why people don't like atheists.

The phrase "Oh my god" is thrown casually among just about all of society, in varying ways. Saying the lord's name in vain is also present. So, to counter that and this was something that I did anyway, I told him that I would use substitutes in place of "Oh my god" or "Jesus Christ". Jiminy Cricket was one. At the time of my obsession with Pokemon, Arceus was also used in place of god. So you'd get "Oh my Arceus" or "Thank Arceus". It was fun. I never did this in public, but hey, if people can believe in a bearded man in the sky, celebrities or now, corporations in the same manner, what's the harm in thanking the Pokemon equivalent of god for the food I ate?

Give praise to The Original One

 

 

After the incident with my brother, outside of some isolated nagging from my mother, no one ever got on my case with my atheism, and I was smart enough to not show it or force it down other people's throats, the same way I didn't want Jesus shoved down mine.

And I really had to ask myself this, and I thank Tyler Perry for keying me on in this dilemma, though he supports it rather than try to address it. If we have so many damn churches on every corner of the black community, and all this money comes into said institutions, why the hell are the streets so run down and the 'communities' so barren and devoid of prosperity? Why is that pastor not actually putting money into programs or causes that could actually benefit us in the long run?

That's when I realized it, again thanks to all the black sitcoms and media: The Black Church is not a place to go for help, it is a front for the pastor to get money and access to the overwhelmingly female attendance. That scenario with the pastor making a pass on that woman I mentioned in the last post wasn't a sick joke, it was the norm. I also discovered deism was a thing, you didn't need to go to church to believe in a god or higher power. He's got a lot of names which should tell you how messy this whole scenario gets when wars are enacted over the interpretation of god. 

And frankly, my mother wasn't really going to church like that anymore. So hey, live and let live.

I did more research on the Black Church and came to find out some rather interesting information and this one affected me directly because of how profound it is. If I remember right, at least 80% of black women believed in god or identified as a christian. Hmm. For that many black women to believe in god means I have only 20% of the women to go to if I want a relationship with one.

But wait. These same holy women are also partaking in various acts that the church would normally denounce...but that would mean the pastor can't get his piece of that sweet hair pie. And even if you don't believe in god, you can still get with one of these women. The notion that having sex with a man will tame him and show him the right path to godliness.

Or so they think. The Black Church is overwhelmingly female, and those women seven times out of ten will have their children present. With no father. But then you see them in public with those same children...and no father. Some people will say "HE'S AT WORK" if you question them when they show up on the news being abused by whoever or whatever. So, why are these god-fearing women committing adultery and having bastard babies out of wedlock? Wouldn't this be the opposite of what a church would want? And why the hell are some of these women coming in the church dressed as if they were going to a strip club, which is right around the corner from a church coincidentally...

...or is it?

I question this because these same people who would ask you fifty questions about your lack of belief in god are also the biggest sinners to walk the earth. Kinda damning that the atheist shows more virtue than the ones who take the oath of virtue. Having kids out of wedlock, having affairs, prostitution, stealing from a store to support your bastards, worshiping a celebrity glorifying a destructive lifestyle and based on the outro of the single "None of Your Business" by Salt-N-Pepa:

So the moral of this story is: Who are you to judge?
There's only one true judge, and that's God
So chill, and let my Father do His job

Another quote that resonated with me was something Tupac mentioned about what Thug Life meant.

The Hate U Give Little Infants Fucks Everybody. Thug Life.

Basically Pepa, because of your provocativeness and outward sexualized life at the time (And probably still living that life with that awful plastic body), you more or less gave the okay for young girls to do the same and while I'm not sure if you had any children or not, what you feed young minds as seeds will grow into the product you see in the future. And looking at the slut-shaming fiasco that took place in 2014, I'm inclined to say the people judging you were correct in doing so and in my case, because I'm not doing so around a basis of faith, but morals. There's too much spoiled fruit to go around and this is my time to harvest and there's nothing to eat. You bury spoiled fruit or feed it to the worms, as I did when I started composting back in the day.

But only god can judge you, right?

If these are the women I have to pick from, I'm good. Finding a black atheist woman is hard enough, but the few I've seen are very indistinguishable from the god-fearing black woman. In addition to the overwhelmingly christian populous, the majority of black women are overweight if not outright obese and you have the Black Church to thank for that.

One of the traditions of the church was to serve food after a service. This particular food isn't exactly something you'd eat every single day. You can eat it every now and again, but every day? That's where the problems kick in.

The food presented is indeed delicious. But to eat these meals every single day is not a good idea. The only healthy item present are the collard greens, and that's already fouled by the heavy amount of sodium and fat it's commonly mixed with. Take into account that the Black Church is overwhelmingly female, and you have a recipe for disaster. The worst part is, a lot of the fat that some black women have gets distributed to other areas. And I'll leave it at that, because it damn sure won't be leaving her anytime soon. So if I do find an atheist secular black woman, chances are she'll already be fat.

But reminder that I did say I lived in Savannah for eight years and everyone down there regardless of race is fat, overweight or obese. And I have seen many obese people walking around. I smelled them before I saw them. Southern cuisine is delicious, but it's not ideal nor sustainable for a healthy population.

Going back to the Black Church, the amount of infidelity and adultery that takes place can be deadly. It was a big story around 2013-14 and I can't find it anymore, but there was a man who killed the pastor of the church his wife went to. I imagine that the women at these churches are also in relationships if not married, and it's damning that these women talk a big game about serving a god, yet refusing to serve the man they choose to have kids with. That amount of hypocrisy would turn any rational person away from the Black Church and I sometimes ask myself if I'm being irrational or is the world around me irrational and I'm barely hanging on to my better judgement.

The black community's worship for god is an unhealthy one and now in this time we're in, it's proving to be detrimental. When there's some white person who will kill a black person or some police officer that kills a young black man or any black man, any bad scenario that you can think of, look at the comments section and you will have one individual that'll say something along the lines of "YAHWEH WILL TAKE CARE OF HIM" or "THE MOST HIGH WILL SOON TAKE CARE OF HIM"

Yeah. I'm sure he will. I go back to the Charleston situation with Dylan Roof. Said massacre claimed the lives of nine people. This man was able to go in the church, pray with those black people and then gun them down. And the kicker? The survivors forgave him. They forgave a man who killed their loved ones with absolute impunity. And this is not the first example of that forgiveness bullshit, plenty of news stories where a black person was attacked or killed and said person if still alive if not their relatives, forgave their attacker. Why??? And they were all non-black. How do I know this? If another black person even dared to attack them, they'd fight back, go for the kill or ask for the harshest punishment imaginable.

Yet someone who actively seeks to harm you, you either forgive or you do nothing but take the abuse. This is the supposed backbone of the black community? Then it either has arthritis or it was never there to begin with.

The pastor has so much influence yet very little power. He'll be the first one to join hands and pray but the last one to actually prepare the black community to fight. And the few men who are present in the church are either in on the system that he operates, inept or emasculated - and that is another can of worms altogether for another fishing trip - none of which are ideal for any community to thrive. And trust me when I say, a community is only as good as its men. If the women are being put into place where men should be, that's a problem. If the women choose to worship and stand by a fictional man in the sky over the men they can touch and feel, that's a problem.

If calling out this imbalance is met with jeers and scorn, that is a problem. The Black Church has done nothing to actually uplift the black community, a community that I am a part of. This is not the reason I chose to become an atheist, but it damn sure reinforced my leanings tenfold. This matriarchy does not work. Period.

I wonder if today's god-fearing folk realized that god and the bible were tools used to indoctrinate us during slavery. The belief that if they pray to god, something will happen. The notion that god made the white man superior to the black man.

 I'm surprised the episode that image originated from had Florida reject the initial image that was there, a black depiction of Jesus. The image above is the reality that has thrived with the black community since...slavery. Funny how it took her son, Michael to educate her on his actual appearance.

Revelation 1:15 - The hair on his head was white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace.

Now he may not have been black (by black I mean the modern terminology of black). But he damn sure wasn't a white dude with long brown hair. Hmmm.

A fun fact about the image above me: It was framed on display at my second job and within five minutes of me placing it on the wall with the other images, it was on the ground, broken. Oh yeah. And I saw no black people present at the time. I also got a lot of donations, many books that talk about god and the scriptures/proverbs. All of those books went right into the salvage bin, along with any crosses or religious imagery unless it was a really nice-looking statuette or figure, that could have sold nicely. 

But to the point of the image of the black Jesus above and the old white person it pissed off, this is how far this parasite of religion goes. 

Which made this particular sitcom even more hilarious.

I question if any of these god-fearing folk even read their bible. I doubt it. It's bad enough that it's used in the actual justice system and is present on all of our money. But at least read it and see how inconsistent it is. It condones slavery, sexism, actual sexism and not the current brand of sexism repackaged as female empowerment and complacency, all which are contributing factors as to why the black community is in the state that it's in.

Even as a piece of literature, it's not well-written, and it's had so many revisions and re-releases that the only reason you would read the bible is to grab a few elements from it and put in your own work, not to push the message, but to give it tangibility. Someone being the walking representation of Jesus or Mary with an actual character arc and character development in a coherent plot has made the bible all but irrelevant.

I'm happy to see there are some more secular if not outright non-believing black people coming out thanks to the internet, and there is a chance that we can form an actual community with ideals, morals and principles with prestige and not a bunch of empty prayers and symbolism. But based on the image with Florida Evans and No. 46, it is going to be a very long time before that ambition is conceived, let alone fulfilled.

I don't celebrate Black History Month.

It's February. Know what that means? Next to my second most hated holiday(And I may write a piece on that one), it's also Black History Month. Let me just say for the record, I do not hate Black History, nor do I look down on those who celebrate or acknowledge it. It's just the fact that for a whole month, we suddenly have to stop and take a look at what accomplishments black Americans have made, when we can do that all year round. And I do just that.

Black History Month to me, is just a ploy to remind America that it was and still is an incredibly racist and shitty country to be in. Did you know that Marcus Garvey Carver made over 300 inventions from peanuts? He didn't make peanut butter, though. Shocker. Did you know that you always hear the same old tales of black triumph from commercials featuring hip-hop artists and celebrities whose videos, music and the like shit on the legacy of those who fought and got beaten so they could have the right to shower phat ass hoes with money and champagne? I already know I'm gonna see at least five of these commercials with a normal black personnel, if not an athlete or an artist talking about Rosa Parks for the umpteenth time. So, here's some lesser known stubs and trivia you'll never hear on these adverts.

-Did you know that Jesse Owens, when he received the gold medal in the Berlin Regime, was acknowledged by Adolf Hitler when he was alive? Some say he shook hands with the infamous dictator, others say he received a nice wooden cabinet. It is confirmed that Germany treated him far better than America. And the recent movie about Owens will likely make it so that Hitler snubs him completely. Can't have Mein Fuhrer in a good light, now can we?

Hey, it was more than FDR did.

-Richard Wright. He was an author who would write a number of books, one notable title being Black Boy. He loved to read, but had a grandmother who was pussywhipped by the belief in God who saw said pieces of literature he loved, and possibly the thought of reading above a kindergarten level to be the Devil's work. He pretty much had an adventure and a half during his youth, and became a well-known author, traveling to parts of Europe and Africa during his adult years. He also mentioned hunger as an analogy for wanting more out of life. And we got a lot of hungry people out there (Myself included). Basically he decided to be his own man, do his own thing, became successful and pissed off a bunch of his fellow Negro kin. He died in 1960.

-Jack Johnson. He would become a professional boxer, and the first black professional heavyweight boxer.  He was a big black man who could knock a white man into a coma and loved alcohol and white women. And no one could say or do a thing to him. Even more proof, when he defeated James J. Jeffries, white people all over America came rioted and attacked black folks for celebrating Jack's triumph, when they could have just captured and lynched him on the spot. You sure showed them, white America. He was also the reason the Mann Act came into effect, after marrying and having sex with his white wife when he beat the shit out of Jeffries that same night. Take notes, Mayweather.

-Greenwood, Tulsa. Prior to 1921, Greenwood was a utopia for black America. You could find grocers, hospitals, a fire department, a police force and just about everything else in a typical American town. And all of it was black-owned and operated! It even got the name "Black Wall Street". Basically, they got their shit together and worked for a good community, in the prime of lynchings and KKK mobs. What do we have now that can even compare to that? Empire? The NAACP? Nigga please. The damage in the Tulsa race riot was so immense, we never saw another like it. I'm serious. Three billion dollars in synthetic hair, yet none of it comes back to us.

-Another relation to blacks outside America, in WWII, most of the black soldiers were treated very well, and respected. Almost like humans. Who knew? One instance in Britain had English soldiers tell off the American soldiers for treating their own allies like dogs. Your shame is documented all over the world, America. Do something about it.

-Someone, somewhere, will say or do something racist in protest to Black History Month. If it's not a politician, a right-wing idiot or some random white person, it's usually all of the above. To me, they may as well be. Let's see who makes the front page this month.

-As someone who considers video games to be a detrimental part of his life, I've been playing Dynasty Warriors and similar games in its style. Did you know that the Civil Rights Movement has enough activists to make a roster bigger than the current Dynasty Warriors game? Koei-Tecmo, if you're looking to expand into other historical pieces for ideas, try American (Black) History. There's more drama, despair and honor (maybe not so much of that) to be found than in every soap opera and major motion picture ever released. You could even do a hypothetical route where MLK lives and pursues his attempted killer with a siege spear, have Emmett Till's (whoops) fictional brother avenge his death, or have the Bloods and Crips band together and make the Purple Bandana Rebellion. Maybe even have Cash Money Records be nothing more than a figment of one's imagination.

-Hip-Hop is forty years old! And it only stayed great for twenty.

But look at me go on. The point I'm making is, Black History Month doesn't decide when I celebrate black history. I do. I always remember Jack Johnson and Malcolm X, along with Rosa Parks and Sojourner Truth. And if I catch wind of anyone else who paved the way for me to make a tasteless joke relating a video game series to the struggles of Civil Rights Leaders and similar people (Give it a millennia, it'll be okay then), I'll look them up and acknowledge them there and then, instead of waiting until February to be told I'm allowed to acknowledge them. Happy New Year to you lot.

P.S: Robert Smalls was a bad motherfucker.

Things won't change.

In the wake of the Charleston Shooting, the confederate flag flying over the Statehouse Grounds along with the flag itself flying over our heads seems to be the hot topic of today. But it makes you wonder, will this really change anything?

Now, I'm all for removing the flag. I see it as a hopeless piece of memorabilia by a group of people bitter over losing a war, and as a symbol of what my ancestors endured and would have continued to endure had the South had its way. But as history has shown us, it won't really change a thing. People won't change. Blacks will still be hated in America, and the 'rebels' will just have a reason to actively attack them. Hell, it's in their name, rebels. What rebel is just gonna take losing their national emblem's right to fly freely in the skies? They'll keep wearing it, and they'll keep holding their outdated values.

The flag has a lot of different meanings to everyone. To the one group that's truly affected by this, they see it as a symbol of hate, ignorance and human degeneracy. The flag's meaning is harmless - to the ones that it was intended for. We were never a factor in your fight. You kept us around for the one thing we were brought to this country for - expendable labor. Someone to do your job for you. Pick that cotton, work them fields, shoot that traitor, be my shield. This is from my perspective, as a black male in this country. Your perspective is different, one that isn't the result of living in the black experience. And you'll never know that experience. That's more dangerous than anything else: The lack of knowledge. If something hurts someone, shouldn't said matter be addressed? Why are you ignoring it? La-la-la'ing the problem won't make it go away. Sweeping it under the rug will only make a bigger mess. You may just think this is someone ranting and raving, and it is. It's just that - a personal opinion and viewpoint on this whole matter.

Racism still exists and will exist for all eternity. Dylan's actions were the result of racism, not mental illness. He knew full well what he was doing and seeing those braindead mouthbreathers on the media say otherwise proves my point: Not knowing about an issue or blatantly choosing not to know about a matter is dangerous and only makes way for more atrocities to happen. What's to say someone else won't try the same thing again?

Let's flip the pages. Say a black man came in a church and opened fire on a group of white people, killing them. And let's say he had a mental disorder. Would they address that? Or would they go on and say the attack was racially motivated? Knowing them, they'd try to say that we need more gun control or we need to take care of the crime rates in America, avoiding the issue at hand.

Even worse: It won't be about the individual in question, it'll be about the entire group glorifying a culture of ignorance and violence. The rappers and inner city youth are to blame, AKA black people.

As I stated earlier. Address the real problem: The attack at the Charleston South Carolina Church was racially motivated, explicitly stated by the gunman and that's all there is to it. Taking down that flag won't change a thing.

Want to change a thing? Simply address the real issues at hand.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Time to vent: My own views on the world and people: Kids

Kids. Kids are the future. Kids are precious.

Kids are bile. Cancer. Filth, trash, every other name for something repulsive. I just don't like kids. Kids are what you have when you're married and your wife vetoes her snatch from you unless you make a raw deposit. Kids are what you have when you lack education(I.E. the use of condoms)and have nothing else better to do.

Kids are what you have when you want to have some sense of accomplishment. Well, you've accomplished a headache. When people say kids are precious, they're talking about a photo they saw of three kids well behaved because their mother had a wooden spoon raring for their hands or daddy had a belt or his hand waiting for their smooth little asses. Anything can look good in a photograph. A Tiger, a group of gangsters, a coca plant in bloom. You can't be fooled by that.

The problem is, women at some point want kids because babies are cute and darling. Yeah, until they start crying. Until they get sick and decide to cry nonstop. One situation involved my eldest nephew sick with something and his mother thought it'd be a good idea to come to our house for some reason. As if we needed to bear his nonstop crying. At least if she asked for assistance with his ailment. I don't even think she did that, but that's another tale in another can of worms.

As infants, they cry. They spit up. They shit and piss all over the place. They get sick and you only notice if you're within face-to-face distance. You get sick from them, feel like shit but hey, at least your baby is now better, for a few months. When they learn how to speak, phase two begins: I want that!

"You can't have that!"

"MYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"

Tantrums begin. They cry even worse now with two years of practice and let loose on anyone in their path. And best of all, they do this while you're at work tending to your task. Yes, some mother can't or won't tell their kid to be quiet or can't quiet them down unless she kills it or gives into its demand. But forbid you or anyone else do her job for her. Oh no. Don't you dare lay a finger on my little angel, you heartless bastard!

Now, all kids are not terrible. The ones who were raised properly and taught their "Pleases", "Thank yous" and "No, thank yous" are as darling as can be. It's the children and keyword, children that are in a group that get me. The more kids you have, the more likely you'll get the one bad apple that can't stop making a mess or crying and the other children tune him/her out.

Meanwhile, all the adults in the area are wondering two things: Why isn't this kid shutting up and where the hell are the parents? It's very unprofessional and neglectful to let your child act like this and then critique anyone that takes matters into their own hands. Maybe you should have focused on just one child instead of having an entire litter when you know nothing about raising them.

With that many children, focusing on each one will be difficult. The Duggar Family? I can imagine how they do it if at all. With that many children, one can imagine that there'll be that one seed with health problems(Likely the younger ones), the one seed who rebels on the entire philosophy that Jim Bob(HA)and Michelle established and the one that dies due to health problems. Either one is fine by me.

And on a side note, isn't it funny how their show lasted as long as it did yet if you were to take a minority family(either black or latino)and do the same thing you'd have shithead liberals screaming racism and fuckhead conservatives especially attacking the mother for having so many children? Granted, there are a lot of black and latino families out there that are big as the Duggar Family but at least they don't try to make a personal army and have bullshit reasons for having their children. Jim Bob, stop it. You're a blight on society and you ought to be clipped.

But enough on him, back to the children. If they aren't raised properly, they'll scream, shout and run everyone up the wall. Parents need to learn how to raise a child and not be immature about it. Wear protection if you don't want one, don't use the "We didn't have one, oh well." excuse or call it a blessing. Is it a blessing when you can't pay rent or bills because you decided to have a bundle of them? How can they take care of you when you can't take care of yourself?

It is my sole opinion and view that if you have a child or are expecting a child or trying to have a child, you no longer are allowed to do the things you did as a regular person. You are not allowed to have weekend binges and hangouts with friends. You are not allowed time with the girls out on the town, dressing sexy and playing hard to get. You definitely are not allowed to show off your tramp stamp on the dancer floor while also sporting your stretch marks in the front. Chris Rock put it best: You got two kids and you're in a club at three in the morning. Have some fucking decency.



It's sexy until your soon-to-be stretches it out.

And even then, some women do this with no shame. Tsk, tsk.

In any case, a tip of the hat to the parents who raise their children right and a middle finger to the ones who half-ass it.

Black Manual : A Handbook for the Black Male

You. Black man. You know who you are. Not the one who fits the usual criteria of what black males are seen as in our society. The one who isn't structured into that stereotype. This manual is for you. Follow it if you want, if not, fine as well.

1. Don't be the token minority
This one is important. If you are looking for friends(Which is pointless to begin with), find other black men like you. They're out there. Don't gravitate to a group of non-blacks. One thing most of these groups try to do is find a token minority so their group won't be seen as all-white and racist. They are not your friends. They are a liability towards you. You are not a friend in their circle. You are always the black friend, who has the black opinion and the black alternative to the standard. You are everything but what you intended to be to them: A friend. At least get a multicultural band of goons so you can stand on equal ground with them. Two or more of the same group will leave a unbalance.

2. Don't be the jokester
This is a very important one. One problem I have with people and how they view us is that we tell funny jokes or we're always supposed to be the funny men. There are too many comedians now. More comics than rappers. When you're a comic, people expect you to just be funny and not be serious. You have to stand strong and be direct. There's nothing wrong with making a witty snide everyone now and again, but don't do it every time. White people tend to laugh a little too hard at the black guy being the funny and wacky guy. Let the Joey Gladstones and Samuel Powers do the comic relief. We need more refined men that are respected and less of the coons. Even if they say you're a stiff blanket, be as stiff as you can be. A boy plays, a man watches his boy play.

3. Don't refrain yourself
You are a man. Do not let others say otherwise. You are a black man. Be strong. Be you. What a regular man does, you do just the same as he does. There's a stigma where a black man acts arrogant or has an ego and it's blown out of proportion.  Don't let people feel safe around you. If they do, you're trapped. You're already a beast to be reckoned with. Don't let them get too close. You have to be a man. Our women are on equal terms with us. That's the reason you see more black women in media rather than us. And if we are, we're with them, we're the token, there's one half of us onscreen or we're effeminate. Be a man and don't water yourself down. If those around you can't handle the real, raw prowess of a black man, tough. Don't be an asshole altogether but keep that little sprinkle of arrogance.

4. Don't sweat the opposite sex
So you've got your priorities straight. You're dedicated, focused and faithful. You want a relationship.  You're polite and a gentlemen. So what's the problem? Black men like you and me don't get dates. Smarts? Nigga please. Get that swag on. Dignity? Stupid. Wil' out and act a fool when things go wrong. Respect? You'll never see it. You are everything she doesn't want in a man. She likes drama. She wants a man that's not worth something. You are too much for her to handle. She will make an excuse not to date you. She won't even give you a chance or one date just to test the waters. And the girls who fit your criteria? They play hard to get, they're taken or they go for white men. So who's next? Non-black women. Good luck with that. They can find all you have in one of their men. But don't worry about it. The time wasted on that can go to furthering your career or goals. Make your worth and let those bitches pick the wrong men and fuck up their lives. You can laugh at them when their somewhat decent bodies get ruined by childbirth.

And avoid single mothers. That's all you have to pick from. I'm not speaking from experience, but I know who'll settle for us, Keyword. It's what you need not to do.

5. Keep to yourself
No company is better than bad company. So you've no friends or a girlfriend. So what? Stay to yourself. Be your own companion. You're better off with no friends than with people who call themselves your friends doing the exact opposite that a friend wanted to do. Even worse if you have money or fame. Should any person gain one of the two or both, this is where they become at the most vulnerable. People from the woodwork come out to be your pal or to be your lover or suddenly they want to date you. You don't need those people around you. I never kept friends for long and that's probably why I don't care to make them or look for any. It's just not in my cards. With us, we can't keep money. We have to splurge it on frivolous stuff and go buck wild. Why not invest that money into something or try to let it grow into something greater? Nope, that's stupid. The less of these fools you associate with, the better.

6. Don't falter
Stand strong. Stand tall. Do not falter. Through all of the obstacles you stand upon, you must not let them overwhelm you. I'm talking to you, the black man that keeps his pants up on his ass. The black man that doesn't speak with slang and with a limited vocabulary. The black man who isn't a chick magnet. The black man who prefers video games(Not Call of Duty or any of the non-gamer bullshit corporations shit out)and anime. The black man who dares to respect women, who dares to want to be something and keeps a level head on things. You are the ones who need uplift. Everyone hates us. We are shunned and attacked, hated and ridiculed. And even then, we must stand strong. Be strong. Swallow your tears and let it burn. Be angry. Be aggressive. Go at the world aggressively. If you have to do it alone, do it. Don't falter. Don't. Channel that frustration and go at it with finesse and determination. Your integrity is something no one can take, even when you die.

Remember that and these steps, and you can succeed in having a healthy life free of stress.

I Hate People: Conclusion

To end this series of posts, I'm going to say this: I don't hate people intentionally or hate them just to hate. I need reasons to dislike or hate a person and sadly, there are a lot of people out there whom I have reason to hate. Even if it's not direct and personal, I still can hate a person because of what they show in terms of personality and character. I can't stand most spoiled rich kids, fools who've not worked a day in their lives and expect everything on a silver platter. It's sickening. I can't stand the fools who think that because of their religious upbringing, makes them better than someone else who doesn't follow what they practice. Gotta love all the hatred muslims get for their appearance. Yep. They're the ones who caused 9/11. Of course. Just by appearance. I hate those people. I hate cops. I hate gossipers, I hate the government for what they do/don't do. I hate almost everyone and everything. It doesn't take much to annoy me and there's a lot that annoys me.

And while we're on the subject of appearance, gotta love how everyone considers you to be lowly and worthless because of your skin color, right? It's not even a matter of what you know or how you act, that skin is either a benefit or a curse. Some people just don't want to overlook that. Well fuck them. I'm not the ones who keep their pants down off their asses. I'm not the ones who try to scheme their way into doing less work and the like. It's frustrating and it's only a small part of what makes me hate people, but damn if it isn't the reason I've gotten severely bitter over the last few years. Both sides piss me off. The ones who perpetuate the stereotypes and the ones who judge all who look akin to the ones who perpetuate the stereotypes. I can't take it. It's also funny how some people claim what I go through is overreacting or that I have so much in my favor. Well, you know why Affirmative Action exists? Because fuckheads will automatically cast me aside based on appearance. If I'm in a college course, it's because of a handout or I'm playing sports. And guess what? Even with that fancy slip with the stamp on it, I'm still not getting hired. I'm still not getting interviews or I'm being told that the place I'm applying for isn't hiring.

It's not just jobs. It's society in general. Don't act the way you look? You're gonna catch shit for it. Black male not tattered in tattoos and jewelry? Speaks appropriately(and I hear that one from black people as well, says a lot, no?)? Wants to do something that's not rapping or shooting the J? Attack him! Make him feel bad for not doing what was forced on us by the ones in power. Whites can do whatever the hell they want and no one will bat an eye. Blacks do one thing wrong and the whole race is doomed. And even if you're picture perfect, they still hate that. Hell, they hate it more. But I don't want to make this just a racial thing. No. It's not racial at all. It's social, though racism is the result of social interaction. Based on how I carry myself, that decides everything. Be it jobs, who accepts/neglects you or women. And that last one strikes a nerve with me. Another reason I don't go for relationships. I get the scraps and the manager's specials. Pass.

There are a lot of scumbags and shitheads out there who aren't worth the time. Too many. I've been alone for a while and friendships are something I don't even consider. Now in adulthood, that has become a reality. It's that reason alone why I'm where I'm at now, why I don't have some wench draining my resources and it's why life is just a little harder for me. And for everyone similar to me, they suffer as well. But the one good thing from this all is, in spite of my experiences, all of the misanthropy made me better as a person. I don't act like an asshole intentionally anymore, and when I do, it's just playfully. But even then, I'm a much better person because of it. Just because the world is filled with hate doesn't mean I have to be hateful. But damn if that hatred isn't justified hating towards. You can love your enemy as that book of stories says but what's the use? People don't learn. Attitudes stay the same, minds cannot be changed. So let people be shitty humans then. I won't fall for it. And for the few who cross my path and judge me accordingly, good on you.

For everyone else, you only continue to give me another reason why I hate people.

I Hate People Part V: Social Circles

So remember what I said last post? No? Go read it then. In this world, you can have all the skill and talent that you can have and none of that won't matter if you don't know the right people. You think that ditz is giving orders because she worked hard to get to that position? You think that fat, lazy middle-aged woman is a supervisor because she knows her job well? And more importantly, you think that the CEO's of video game companies are where they at because they love video games? Please. They got there because someone they know personally recommended them to their boss. And if they don't know someone, they blew someone, which makes them known. I'm not saying that everyone in a high-end position got there because of foul play or favoritism, but knowing a good amount of people can open doors for you.

Now for the person who isn't as lucky to know the right people, what does that mean for you? It means you're staying at the same position you started at for twenty plus years. That co-worker is getting somewhere in a short time because they know someone. Family is important, too. A third cousin will get you a job or a date. Down here, everyone is family. Everyone has a connection. It's rare not to have that connection. But then again, not everyone is lucky to have such a privilege. When I saw this at my job, even when I innovated and put extra effort in the work, of course I got overlooked. It was infuriating and stressful. I was pissed off and even surlier than usual. I don't like when it happens. Hard work should be the key factor. Why is this no longer a priority? The wrong people got into power, the ones who were given their positions rather than earn it and they make the shots, the rules and decide who gets a slice of the pie. So what can you do about it? Keep working hard. Don't do it for those assholes, but for yourself. Things tend to come back, be it at work or before you die. Even if it's small, at least you got something out of it, right?

RIGHT? Yeah.

But this is pretty much the common factor in the workforce and the corporate world. The managers and the like are getting nice bonuses for the holidays and we get fifteen extra dollars and some discount seasonal items if we're quick enough to get them before the customers. For what it's worth, it was a perk, but I and many others who put a good day's effort could be getting more. For those who are looking into or may possibly become a manager or obtain a high position at whatever you work at, do the right thing. Give the lower employees their worth. If they work hard, give them that promotion and do the right thing. I'm sick of seeing this all over. Just because someone doesn't know a bunch of people doesn't make them irrelevant at all. It doesn't. Stop prioritizing superficial nonsense over what really matters. But even then, it's still a plus to know some people. But not everyone is lucky to get a friend. And the ones that people call friends are probably the last people you'd want to know anyway. This was my situation. After months of stressful nights, stressful co-workers, unpleasable customers and blatant favoritism, I couldn't handle it anymore. And I was moving to another area. I put my time into that instead. those two years of working that job taught me more than what I learned in high school. It shaped me into the person I am today and it made into a better person in the long run. Just because a large sum of the population is shitty, doesn't mean that I have to be. I thank and acknowledge everything that is being done to me when I'm out at a restaurant or in a store. Basically, what my parents taught me as a kid, I didn't forget.

Say please and thank you. And do so without an attitude.

I Hate People Part IV: The Workforce

We are now at 2011, where I had finally found a job at the Kroger Company. It was very convenient for me, as it was only a five minute walk from where me and mom were staying at. The job was simple and to the point: Bag, clean, pull carts, restock. Monkeys could do it. Now this is where my misanthropy and surliness developed fully and here, there was genuine reason. Let's make a list of the causes of it.

-Customers. The customer is always right? No. The customer is supposedly responsible for my check? Also no. The customer's purpose is to buy the products the store has to offer. They do not actually cause your check to become what it is when you get it. Your hours are what decides the check's value. Proof of this, I was always helpful and wanted to help the customer out. There were genuine people who needed help. I was happy to lend a hand. Now, with all of the people I helped, all the people who made my check possible, you would think on a busy day, all that assisting would pay off literally, right?

WRONG. Your check is based on the hours you spent clocked in and alternatively, if you're buddy-buddy with the higher ups. Customers only serve as a reason to buy the store's products or to make a would-be smooth day tedious. I got my share of really shitty customers whom found one thing wrong or off and that would be my ass. Be it waiting in a long line or if I didn't smile or say hello(Not that they'd respond anyway). There's a nice little review list we got that customers would post their comments on. Let me just say some of them were hilarious and not in a good way. And in terms of who we got as customers, if they weren't the unpleasable types, they were the EBT users. And I despise EBT with a passion. What was meant to help people in times of poverty is now an abused source of food and a net to trap the users in so they can never get off it. Why is it that the majority of people who used this system used it to buy junk food and things that they don't need? And it's not a usual order, this is three carts of groceries that I'm bagging. What the hell is going on? The only things you can't buy are hot food and non-food items. You can buy soda, candy, chips, cookies and a wide array of meat and seafood all in one order. And what really gets me is the line where people say, "I wish I could get a job. You're truly blessed!"

How in the flying fuck am I blessed to have a job where I make a little over a hundred dollars a week and have to ration that money from rent to necessities?! These same people who are buying steaks and shrimp are telling me I'm blessed to have a job where I can't leisurely buy those things like they can. Even if I saved up enough for a month's time, it still wasn't enough to buy what they can seamlessly over a month. And considering how everyone knows someone and everyone is having kids and whatnot, those cards are not scarce. WIC, I have no problems over because you have no say in what you can get from those slips. One customer wanted big lima beans and she couldn't. So the customer is always right? No. Never. They don't do a damn thing for your check. Don't be scared to tell one off. You're a person like they are. If they think they can use that line to their advantage, they're wrong. And the CEO's are pansies for bending down so quickly. This goes for old people who don't have an ID for their cheap wine. You being eighty is an accomplishment, but you still need ID. Sorry. You fought for my rights(What rights? The ones my group were and still are denied to this day???) to do what I do? You also fought for the rights and laws we have in effect today. I don't care how old you are, respect is earned, not inherited. I didn't smile or feel the need to after over a year of working. I was pissed off and stressed. This is what adulthood felt like. It was a reality of what people truly are. And that goes into my next point.

-Circles. Social ones to be exact. Now as you know, I didn't have these in my new environment. I was alone. A lone wolf trying to get his scraps. Now I had been there a few months before I caught wind of why social circles dominate skills and trades. I saw that people who were in my position as a Courtesy Clerk were moving up to newer positions. Be it the register or a new department. The pants kicker? I was there longer than they were. Not to undermine or insult them, they were just as competent as I was and damn awesome to boot. But why is it that because they may know a person who works in another department, they got promoted first? This made me question my overall experience and take a better look at things. You think that working hard and being quick and efficient was the key to moving up. Not that I was trying to do this but it'd be a nice way to show your worth and competence, right? Not at all. This is a key aspect of life itself and if you don't know it, you'll know now:

It's not what you know, it's who you know.

And if you don't know the right people, you ain't getting anywhere in life. No one can do it alone, so what can you do if you are alone? Try. And try your absolute hardest. But based on what I went through, your hardest isn't enough. It'll bear some fruit, but you need an orchid's worth and I didn't get that much. I'll dive into the social circle aspect some more next post. And once again, if you don't know, know this.

It's not what you know, it's who you know.

I Hate People Part III

Continuing my personal tale of misanthropy, I had gained friends and friendships. However, due to my grandmother's death in 2005, she left us some property. Two years later, it was settled that we were moving down to Georgia to tend to it. After school ended in 2008, I was slated to leave. I spent one good day with my friends, doing stuff and acknowledging their company. It was a good feeling. A feeling I haven't felt since. July of 2008, I left New York without even a single goodbye. Mom was already sad having to leave her friends as well, but at least she was able to call them. I thought too much about New York and the elements I grew up around. I had relatives and all that down south but I was a donkey in a horserace. I felt out of touch. Going forward to senior year, it was a new experience. My last year in school and it wasn't with the people who I started high school with. Everyone spoke considerably worse English, everyone else on average was different than what I usually dealt with, it was a shock. Now that doesn't mean that everyone was bad, but I didn't gain any friends, period. Take the time to think about that one.

Now, for my last year, I didn't really argue with people. I was pretty much to myself. If anyone came to me, it was peacefully, mostly. Questions were asked, but I didn't feel threatened. The only time I dealt with pains in the ass were with freshmen and those little tarts aren't worth losing your attendance over(and in this new environment, your life). Otherwise, it was a mixed bag. One thing I took wind of was the amount of pregnancies I saw. Three times the amount I saw in my old school. This made me reconsider wanting to take the initiative. What I would see later on in life would be one of the main reasons I hate modern society. But let's keep it chronologically in order. There were some like-minded people that shared my interests, but they were a little young. I had to keep some distance. My shell that I was slowly coming out of was shut tight again. And I'll just say this: Compared to what I encountered in New York, what I saw in Georgia and Savannah High were three steps below. Poverty-ridden students, pregnant girls all over, it was a mess. And the attitudes were slightly worse. I went through a literal culture shock. It didn't help that I got sick in graduation. That sullied my last year in high school, which was done for to begin with.

Now, upon being able to heal, I was pissed off. Not a friend to connect with, not a prom to go to, nothing memorable save for three teachers who were awesome. I didn't like my last year. I look back and realize I could have gotten some long-lasting relationships, maybe went to my prom, possibly gotten a high school fling and the like. But nope. We moved for property that we had to give up anyway. And I later found out we could have stayed in NY and be somewhat better off than we are now.

Isn't life grand? You never know what it'll throw at you.

I Hate People Part II

So, by now you already know my deal with people. They're shitty. Point blank. Now continuing from my last post, middle school is where my hatred for people and my development of misanthropy started. Now, the adults were supportive of me. That much I can say. Anyone in my age range? Few in between and I didn't see them after I moved on to high school.

Freshman year. A new environment and new people. Now, what happened? I found acquaintances. They were nice and didn't do that typical ignorant nonsense I'd expect from other peers. They were okay. Of course, there had to be one. And it was one individual who to this day I have disdain for. He didn't make things easy for me in the beginning. But of course, when I showed some aggression, I can't take a joke. I'm too serious. I'm gonna shoot up the school, according to a classmate that migrated from my middle school with me. While I will plead guilty to having those thoughts and they are fun as hell to replay mentally, common sense told me not to do so.

Now I wanna rewind back to 2003. I went away to Life Tech Ventures for a month. It was a fulfilling experience and I learned and saw a lot of things. It would be perfect were it not for two reasons: My party whom I came with. This is where the torment started. There was one individual that was fifteen who enjoyed doing this to me. I wanted to punch his fat fucking face. I didn't have to see him for the third week. But that's where reason two comes in: Mom forgot to pack a blanket. I caught a fever. My temperature was 103.8. That sullied the whole trip. But for what it's worth, everyone was supportive of me and wished for a full recovery. Thanks to everyone who did that. If I could, I'd hug you all.

Too much positivity. Back to reality, that one who tormented me was already in my blacklist. But of course, there were more. So many more. However I can admit at this point, not everyone was out to pick meat off my bones. This is where I felt more hatred for myself and people, but mainly myself. The ones who were nice to me, I attacked. I did it out of fear of being hurt. It wasn't a good feeling. I've tried to repent for it and lucky to say, I did it with a few people, then and recently. Facebook for what it's worth does serve a purpose other than corporations trying to wire in on modern social connections for statistics and the like. But moving on. Around sophomore year, things got a little more...bearable. Same people I hated, gave me more reason to hate them(indirectly, but an asshole is an asshole.). I had some eyes from female classmates on me. But I was not about to get any of them pregnant. Thank you illogical relatives and Maury Povich. That man has made more money off black teenage ignorance than fashion lines and rap music combined. Looking back, one little taste wouldn't have hurt, right? Lost opportunity. But when I would reach my senior year, this would be something I'd have a split view on.

Around this time, I gained friends. Shocker. Yep. Three main ones, a few more secondary ones. This was getting to me a lot because I was really in a state of chaos(overeating, I know)and this happened. The teasing was at this point just that - teasing. It didn't bother me at all anymore. I could really shake that shit off with no problem. I think it was true what they said about high school being the high point of your life. So much to do and so many people to connect with. I even had some(SOME)changes of heart. This bleeds straight into junior year, which was probably my best year of school after sixth grade. 2007 was untouchable. So many good things happened to me. Outside of school, and in school. Now, what does this have to do with hating people? Well, if you go back to the beginning, I said that whenever I gain some friendships, I lose them before I know it. I can't keep friends for some reason. And Facebook was starting up around this time, but before that was the scourge known as MySpace. Women who post ass and tit pics as their avatars wanting friends non-stop. This was the first of many steps to ruining my life. What they are? I'll tell you in the future. But moving on. I gained more friends, strengthened the friendships I had and I even connected with them. But like all good things, they must come to an end.

Tune in for the next part of this wonderful journey into my closet.

I Hate People

As far as I can remember, I've come to realize this one thing.

People are terrible. How terrible? Very. As a first grader who was friendly with a lot of old classmates from kindergarten, I realized that the feelings I had for them weren't exchanged back the way I expected them to be. Because of the fact that I had on glasses, I got the usual four-eyes sneers and words similar to it. Now this makes you think, this was only elementary school. People grow up, don't they? Hell no, they don't. I didn't have friends at all unless I had stuff or gave them stuff. It's funny how people want to be around you when you get something. Rappers and celebrities know this one all too well. It's the same with the common man(child). If I had Pokémon cards, I had people who wanted to trade/talk with me. Didn't have that? None of that happened. And isn't it funny how when you do get some people who you can call a 'friend', fate makes it so you can't stick with them for long?

Yep. As soon as sixth grade passed, the people who I got acquainted with went their separate ways. And this is before MySpace and Facebook. You didn't have any way to contact them like you do now. So, goodbye friends, hello newfound enemies. Middle school happened. If I didn't get teased for my glasses, it was my voice and this is what drove me to dislike people tenfold. Can't overlook something you have no control over, nope. Gotta tease and make fun of them for it. And if you dare get violent or show some aggression, you can't take a joke. I was jus' playin' wit ya, damn. I don't get how pushing and throwing books at me is playing around. Maybe if I killed you and said that same thing, you and everyone else would think otherwise, no? Your childhood years and especially your adolescent years are the prime years for your growth and development. If you aren't seeing things happen to you that are good, if you aren't around people who want you to succeed or rather help you, you're gonna turn out bad. The adults gave a shit, thankfully. The kids?

HAH! They can all burn for all I care. But like elementary, I gained some people who I could call 'friends'(I don't use the word loosely). And guess what happened? New school, new people to hate, more people to lose out on. And again, this was before Facebook and MySpace. Kids had cell phones, but why are thirteen year-olds on their cells during class to begin with? I feel as though in middle school, I was the only one who was supposed to be there. Everyone else was around fourteen, fifteen at the most. One seventeen year-old gave me a nice battle scar on two of my teeth. Dickhead. Why the fuck is a seventeen year-old in fucking middle school??? What the fuck was going on with that? I can imagine who else he attacked. He's proof public school is cancer. A lot of classmates were proof of that alone. But it also solidified my views on the world and people. And that is...

People are shitty. And this is just the beginning.