So, by now you already know my deal with people. They're shitty. Point blank. Now continuing from my last post, middle school is where my hatred for people and my development of misanthropy started. Now, the adults were supportive of me. That much I can say. Anyone in my age range? Few in between and I didn't see them after I moved on to high school.
Freshman year. A new environment and new people. Now, what happened? I found acquaintances. They were nice and didn't do that typical ignorant nonsense I'd expect from other peers. They were okay. Of course, there had to be one. And it was one individual who to this day I have disdain for. He didn't make things easy for me in the beginning. But of course, when I showed some aggression, I can't take a joke. I'm too serious. I'm gonna shoot up the school, according to a classmate that migrated from my middle school with me. While I will plead guilty to having those thoughts and they are fun as hell to replay mentally, common sense told me not to do so.
Now I wanna rewind back to 2003. I went away to Life Tech Ventures for a month. It was a fulfilling experience and I learned and saw a lot of things. It would be perfect were it not for two reasons: My party whom I came with. This is where the torment started. There was one individual that was fifteen who enjoyed doing this to me. I wanted to punch his fat fucking face. I didn't have to see him for the third week. But that's where reason two comes in: Mom forgot to pack a blanket. I caught a fever. My temperature was 103.8. That sullied the whole trip. But for what it's worth, everyone was supportive of me and wished for a full recovery. Thanks to everyone who did that. If I could, I'd hug you all.
Too much positivity. Back to reality, that one who tormented me was already in my blacklist. But of course, there were more. So many more. However I can admit at this point, not everyone was out to pick meat off my bones. This is where I felt more hatred for myself and people, but mainly myself. The ones who were nice to me, I attacked. I did it out of fear of being hurt. It wasn't a good feeling. I've tried to repent for it and lucky to say, I did it with a few people, then and recently. Facebook for what it's worth does serve a purpose other than corporations trying to wire in on modern social connections for statistics and the like. But moving on. Around sophomore year, things got a little more...bearable. Same people I hated, gave me more reason to hate them(indirectly, but an asshole is an asshole.). I had some eyes from female classmates on me. But I was not about to get any of them pregnant. Thank you illogical relatives and Maury Povich. That man has made more money off black teenage ignorance than fashion lines and rap music combined. Looking back, one little taste wouldn't have hurt, right? Lost opportunity. But when I would reach my senior year, this would be something I'd have a split view on.
Around this time, I gained friends. Shocker. Yep. Three main ones, a few more secondary ones. This was getting to me a lot because I was really in a state of chaos(overeating, I know)and this happened. The teasing was at this point just that - teasing. It didn't bother me at all anymore. I could really shake that shit off with no problem. I think it was true what they said about high school being the high point of your life. So much to do and so many people to connect with. I even had some(SOME)changes of heart. This bleeds straight into junior year, which was probably my best year of school after sixth grade. 2007 was untouchable. So many good things happened to me. Outside of school, and in school. Now, what does this have to do with hating people? Well, if you go back to the beginning, I said that whenever I gain some friendships, I lose them before I know it. I can't keep friends for some reason. And Facebook was starting up around this time, but before that was the scourge known as MySpace. Women who post ass and tit pics as their avatars wanting friends non-stop. This was the first of many steps to ruining my life. What they are? I'll tell you in the future. But moving on. I gained more friends, strengthened the friendships I had and I even connected with them. But like all good things, they must come to an end.
Tune in for the next part of this wonderful journey into my closet.
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