I Hate People Part III

Continuing my personal tale of misanthropy, I had gained friends and friendships. However, due to my grandmother's death in 2005, she left us some property. Two years later, it was settled that we were moving down to Georgia to tend to it. After school ended in 2008, I was slated to leave. I spent one good day with my friends, doing stuff and acknowledging their company. It was a good feeling. A feeling I haven't felt since. July of 2008, I left New York without even a single goodbye. Mom was already sad having to leave her friends as well, but at least she was able to call them. I thought too much about New York and the elements I grew up around. I had relatives and all that down south but I was a donkey in a horserace. I felt out of touch. Going forward to senior year, it was a new experience. My last year in school and it wasn't with the people who I started high school with. Everyone spoke considerably worse English, everyone else on average was different than what I usually dealt with, it was a shock. Now that doesn't mean that everyone was bad, but I didn't gain any friends, period. Take the time to think about that one.

Now, for my last year, I didn't really argue with people. I was pretty much to myself. If anyone came to me, it was peacefully, mostly. Questions were asked, but I didn't feel threatened. The only time I dealt with pains in the ass were with freshmen and those little tarts aren't worth losing your attendance over(and in this new environment, your life). Otherwise, it was a mixed bag. One thing I took wind of was the amount of pregnancies I saw. Three times the amount I saw in my old school. This made me reconsider wanting to take the initiative. What I would see later on in life would be one of the main reasons I hate modern society. But let's keep it chronologically in order. There were some like-minded people that shared my interests, but they were a little young. I had to keep some distance. My shell that I was slowly coming out of was shut tight again. And I'll just say this: Compared to what I encountered in New York, what I saw in Georgia and Savannah High were three steps below. Poverty-ridden students, pregnant girls all over, it was a mess. And the attitudes were slightly worse. I went through a literal culture shock. It didn't help that I got sick in graduation. That sullied my last year in high school, which was done for to begin with.

Now, upon being able to heal, I was pissed off. Not a friend to connect with, not a prom to go to, nothing memorable save for three teachers who were awesome. I didn't like my last year. I look back and realize I could have gotten some long-lasting relationships, maybe went to my prom, possibly gotten a high school fling and the like. But nope. We moved for property that we had to give up anyway. And I later found out we could have stayed in NY and be somewhat better off than we are now.

Isn't life grand? You never know what it'll throw at you.

I Hate People Part II

So, by now you already know my deal with people. They're shitty. Point blank. Now continuing from my last post, middle school is where my hatred for people and my development of misanthropy started. Now, the adults were supportive of me. That much I can say. Anyone in my age range? Few in between and I didn't see them after I moved on to high school.

Freshman year. A new environment and new people. Now, what happened? I found acquaintances. They were nice and didn't do that typical ignorant nonsense I'd expect from other peers. They were okay. Of course, there had to be one. And it was one individual who to this day I have disdain for. He didn't make things easy for me in the beginning. But of course, when I showed some aggression, I can't take a joke. I'm too serious. I'm gonna shoot up the school, according to a classmate that migrated from my middle school with me. While I will plead guilty to having those thoughts and they are fun as hell to replay mentally, common sense told me not to do so.

Now I wanna rewind back to 2003. I went away to Life Tech Ventures for a month. It was a fulfilling experience and I learned and saw a lot of things. It would be perfect were it not for two reasons: My party whom I came with. This is where the torment started. There was one individual that was fifteen who enjoyed doing this to me. I wanted to punch his fat fucking face. I didn't have to see him for the third week. But that's where reason two comes in: Mom forgot to pack a blanket. I caught a fever. My temperature was 103.8. That sullied the whole trip. But for what it's worth, everyone was supportive of me and wished for a full recovery. Thanks to everyone who did that. If I could, I'd hug you all.

Too much positivity. Back to reality, that one who tormented me was already in my blacklist. But of course, there were more. So many more. However I can admit at this point, not everyone was out to pick meat off my bones. This is where I felt more hatred for myself and people, but mainly myself. The ones who were nice to me, I attacked. I did it out of fear of being hurt. It wasn't a good feeling. I've tried to repent for it and lucky to say, I did it with a few people, then and recently. Facebook for what it's worth does serve a purpose other than corporations trying to wire in on modern social connections for statistics and the like. But moving on. Around sophomore year, things got a little more...bearable. Same people I hated, gave me more reason to hate them(indirectly, but an asshole is an asshole.). I had some eyes from female classmates on me. But I was not about to get any of them pregnant. Thank you illogical relatives and Maury Povich. That man has made more money off black teenage ignorance than fashion lines and rap music combined. Looking back, one little taste wouldn't have hurt, right? Lost opportunity. But when I would reach my senior year, this would be something I'd have a split view on.

Around this time, I gained friends. Shocker. Yep. Three main ones, a few more secondary ones. This was getting to me a lot because I was really in a state of chaos(overeating, I know)and this happened. The teasing was at this point just that - teasing. It didn't bother me at all anymore. I could really shake that shit off with no problem. I think it was true what they said about high school being the high point of your life. So much to do and so many people to connect with. I even had some(SOME)changes of heart. This bleeds straight into junior year, which was probably my best year of school after sixth grade. 2007 was untouchable. So many good things happened to me. Outside of school, and in school. Now, what does this have to do with hating people? Well, if you go back to the beginning, I said that whenever I gain some friendships, I lose them before I know it. I can't keep friends for some reason. And Facebook was starting up around this time, but before that was the scourge known as MySpace. Women who post ass and tit pics as their avatars wanting friends non-stop. This was the first of many steps to ruining my life. What they are? I'll tell you in the future. But moving on. I gained more friends, strengthened the friendships I had and I even connected with them. But like all good things, they must come to an end.

Tune in for the next part of this wonderful journey into my closet.

I Hate People

As far as I can remember, I've come to realize this one thing.

People are terrible. How terrible? Very. As a first grader who was friendly with a lot of old classmates from kindergarten, I realized that the feelings I had for them weren't exchanged back the way I expected them to be. Because of the fact that I had on glasses, I got the usual four-eyes sneers and words similar to it. Now this makes you think, this was only elementary school. People grow up, don't they? Hell no, they don't. I didn't have friends at all unless I had stuff or gave them stuff. It's funny how people want to be around you when you get something. Rappers and celebrities know this one all too well. It's the same with the common man(child). If I had Pokémon cards, I had people who wanted to trade/talk with me. Didn't have that? None of that happened. And isn't it funny how when you do get some people who you can call a 'friend', fate makes it so you can't stick with them for long?

Yep. As soon as sixth grade passed, the people who I got acquainted with went their separate ways. And this is before MySpace and Facebook. You didn't have any way to contact them like you do now. So, goodbye friends, hello newfound enemies. Middle school happened. If I didn't get teased for my glasses, it was my voice and this is what drove me to dislike people tenfold. Can't overlook something you have no control over, nope. Gotta tease and make fun of them for it. And if you dare get violent or show some aggression, you can't take a joke. I was jus' playin' wit ya, damn. I don't get how pushing and throwing books at me is playing around. Maybe if I killed you and said that same thing, you and everyone else would think otherwise, no? Your childhood years and especially your adolescent years are the prime years for your growth and development. If you aren't seeing things happen to you that are good, if you aren't around people who want you to succeed or rather help you, you're gonna turn out bad. The adults gave a shit, thankfully. The kids?

HAH! They can all burn for all I care. But like elementary, I gained some people who I could call 'friends'(I don't use the word loosely). And guess what happened? New school, new people to hate, more people to lose out on. And again, this was before Facebook and MySpace. Kids had cell phones, but why are thirteen year-olds on their cells during class to begin with? I feel as though in middle school, I was the only one who was supposed to be there. Everyone else was around fourteen, fifteen at the most. One seventeen year-old gave me a nice battle scar on two of my teeth. Dickhead. Why the fuck is a seventeen year-old in fucking middle school??? What the fuck was going on with that? I can imagine who else he attacked. He's proof public school is cancer. A lot of classmates were proof of that alone. But it also solidified my views on the world and people. And that is...

People are shitty. And this is just the beginning.

Time to vent: My own views on the world and people: Reality Televison

One thing I've hated for over a decade?

Reality shows. These have to be the worst pieces of television programming to ever be thought of or created. Basically you take some cameramen and you film your everyday life. That was the basis of it. Now that people eat this shit up like a pig at a slop bin, everyone is doing a reality show now. And the drama is forced and turned up for the sake of ratings.

The only ones that had some purpose were the ones that had you switch out a parent. Trading Spouses was okay, it showed a realistic scenario. The drama was relatable due to cultural differences at least. It wasn't forced at all. Eventually I stopped watching it because some of the people on that show made me angry by watching them be dicks or assholes for no reason. One particular episode had a white mother be with a black family and she may as well have put them in chains and rags. And, there were three more shows like it coming on other networks. TV in general isn't worth watching. I have a very selective set of shows I watch and 80% of them are old sitcoms or programs that aired already in another country. I do not follow any of the modern reality shows at all let alone modern-day television and make it a rule to avoid them entirely, especially the black reality shows. The Real Housewives of Atlanta, I've watched second-hand. Just what I wanted to see, some middle-aged women acting like they were in high school- scratch that, middle school. If I wanted to watch ignorant black women, I'd go to WorldStarHipHop.

But the main reality show I really have come to hate is American Idol. I hate this fucking show. Hate, hate, HATE this show. I hear the same stories each time a new season premieres:

"This is what I've been waiting for my entire life."

"I am the next American Idol."

"It's my dream to be onstage."

First off, you're one person against tens of millions of people, maybe even more. You've been waiting for a chance to sing, only to have whoever replaced Simon Cowell to tell you to get out. He's the only one I can respect, as he tells most of these people what they need to hear instead of what they want to hear. Now, I know it seems rude and harsh, but considering how many people embarrass themselves on that wretched show, it needs to be said and some feelings need to be hurt. And the one reason I've come to hate American Idol is that everyone has made a fucking show like it. Even fucking FOX made a similar show with the same judges. I don't know what it was called, but it's no longer on their network. I don't watch that shit to begin with. If it is still on, shame on them. If not, shame on them still for wasting money on a clone. And these knockoffs always have a surly Brit like Simon to be a mean-spirited dick. They aren't even trying to hide it. And people watch this. Why? Shows like these are stupid, formulaic and a waste of time. Television is so oversaturated with these reality shows that you can't even tell what's what now. It's literally the same damn thing. I know of one instance where BET had black versions of reality shows that premiered on FOX, CBS and the like. They were pure shit. You were better off watching the originals(if you could even call them that, they stopped being just that around 2006).

Back to the special snowflakes who wanna be the next American Idol, it ain't happening. You're one person against millions of other people. You aren't gonna make it. And if you do, congratulations. You hit the lottery. But then again, you could have hit the lottery. Instead, you're gonna get a deal with a label that might just screw you out of royalties. But even the losers may just get a bar of copper. And if you don't? Well, try harder. Hell, you could go on YouTube and play or sing your song. If you really want that chance that American Idol wasn't going to didn't give you, get a camera and show them what you can do. You might just get lucky.

Lastly, I'm going to say this about reality shows. They're up there with the internet stardom fools I mentioned in my last post. I'm convinced they're the cause of television and maybe the population going downhill. Proof of this? The fact that there are so many to begin with. People put ratings to these shows but an actual television show that dare tries something informative or gives you a reason to watch gets cancelled or chopped before it even got a chance. You don't even have to write a script(Yes, there's a script involved in a program that doesn't require one). Just put two people who hate each other in the same room and let the cameras roll.

Once again, If I wanted to see a bunch of adults act like children, I'd go on the internet and look at them.

Time to vent: My own views on the world and people: Internet Stardom

The internet has grown considerably in the last few years. For me, this was around 2004. It was a simple place, with some interesting things about it. Porn, funny pictures, you name it. There were also videos online as well, though with dialup, that was just a pipe dream. Fast forward to around 2006, there was this lovely little site called YouTube, where people uploaded videos of any kind. It was also exciting and amazing, despite my limited internet connection. 2007, I finally had broadband and could load a sixteen-minute video with no problem. Things were good.

However, as quickly as things get popular, they also tend to take a downfall in quality and integrity. With the YouTube craze, you had people posting videos of themselves doing things or having things unintentionally happening to them. They would become features on the morning news. It was a new way of people becoming famous. Some people, like Tay Zonday who actually had talent deserved that bit of exposure. Some people, like Chris Crocker, whose main video was of him making an ass out of himself, do not deserve fame and money. There are other people who would go on to make a name for themselves via YouTube and the site itself set up a YouTube Partners program for people who want their voices heard. For some, it was a good way to make money and a name for themselves once again.

But, as with some people, monkey see, monkey do. Because of some people posting a video of a baby laughing while its parent tries to feed it, who did not intend to capitalize on that video and merely posted it with the original purpose YouTube was intended for, now every parent and idiot Joe with a video/camera phone are posting videos of their little bundle of joy doing something 'cute' or themselves acting like asses, hoping it exceeds fifty million views or gets them a feature on the morning news. Newsflash: You're not gonna get popular overnight like those people did, let alone at all. Tay Zonday got to where he is because he unintentionally had a standout voice and 4Chan got wind of it. The countless videos of babies got popular because of the reason stated at the beginning of this paragraph. You aren't at that level because you're aware of the potential fame and stardom that can come of it and as a result, you namedrop YouTube before you film your shitty video of  your friend backflipping from a six-foot wall or some dumb blonde drunk off her ass and swaying in a dark parking lot. People have sense enough to know what's done for the sake of views and what's done because of genuine self-interest. There's a reason they thumbs down your videos and call you an idiot.

And you're not original in the slightest. Many other fools have discovered YouTube and are posting their videos of whatever on it as well. You're going to have to try better than that. And I oughta not say that, because you don't need to try at all. Now with these same people who tried to become an internet star, they're making it so that other people who are coming in now are getting fed and paid better by posting shitty videos than people who are out there working back-breaking hours for pennies. Dare I say, it's infuriating to see Fred(Ugh)make it to where he is by speeding up his videos and acting like a kid on sugar. And even worse is...Lohanthony. Look it up yourself.

As embarrassing as those two are to an extent, there are many others who are just as embarrassing who don't get fame, money or a movie. They get laughed at and embarrassed. At best, they'll appear on Tosh.0(Keep in mind I do like that show, but almost all the people who appear on it deserve all the ridicule they get). At worst, people will know them for being that idiot whose face is no longer the same from falling off a ledge or something similar to it. And they deserve it. Because they aren't talented nor worth the energy to watch their antics. Take the initiative and work for your stardom. Just because a few got famous overnight doesn't mean you will. Learn from the idiots and avoid yourself the embarrassment.

Time to vent: My own views on the world and people: Consumerism

The economy is poor and you're struggling to pay bills. Not just you, but practically a third to half of the country is on hard times. We can't afford gas, electricity or the basic necessities we need. Money is a big issue. If that's true, then why is it that people in these hard times can still pull ten bucks from their pockets for a movie and the film grosses $200 million dollars in the box office?

Consumerism. This is one I don't get.

Why do we put so much money onto frivolous things that we do not need? Do we need a big screen TV? Do we need that Prius? Do we need to buy stuff we don't need? Why is that? If times are hard, why not put that money into food or things you'll need and put that Blu-Ray player aside for a moment. Scratch that- don't buy it to begin with. You don't need it. You can get a DVD player for dirt cheap. I have one that I play games on. But I digress. The point is, if we really are doing so bad with jobs and rising taxes, shouldn't we save every cent we have? I get that a night at the movies or going to a dank bar with friends can make that pain go away briefly but it's borderlining on escapism. You can't escape the fact that your refrigerator is empty or the electricity that powers it will get cut off if you don't make that payment.

I think we're at a point in life where we try to live the lives of other people. Celebrities on TV(whom you shouldn't be watching to begin with)may have expensive cars or other materialistic items, but that's because they earned(and I use that term loosely considering the ones who sign their checks)enough money to do just that and still live to pay bills. You and me are just regular nobodies who may or may not have income coming in. We can't just piss away $500 on a phone like they can. Some people have to work a week or in my case, a damn month plus just to have that much and this isn't counting the amount rent and the usual necessities deduct from it.. And for those who can earn $500 plus a week, good on you. You still don't need that IPhone. They're just gonna release another model two months later. You can't be the Kardashians, you can't be Young Money, you can't be any of those celebrities. You can only be you. And you have bills to pay and possibly a family to tend to, so get on it and leave that Kindle tablet or whatever the hell people are reading on nowadays where you saw it.

Happy 2014!

Keep Fighting: Do it for yourself and not others

So. You're doing something and no one's taking notice. You're doing a lot of good deeds and no one's seeing your selflessness. You're putting your all in your work at the job and your supervisors aren't taking notice or rather, they're ignoring you intentionally for someone else. I know that feeling all too well. You're posting content on a blog or in a YouTube video and you have no views/comments/etc. Well, what should you do? Give up?

Hell no!

Keep on doing what you're doing. A flower doesn't grow overnight. A corporation doesn't happen overnight(Well, that isn't entirely true nowadays). It'll take time before you make a decent userbase of people who like your work. Just keep on doing what you do and be determined with it. If you push yourself hard enough, fruit will blossom and you can eat it. And trust me, it tastes much better when you yourself provided it. So once again, just keep on trucking. Whatever it is that you're doing, do it! Working a min. wage job, managing a small business/corporation, or just doing something for fun out of your own time. Do it and do the best damn job you can at it. No one can tell you what to do for yourself. You have to tell yourself to do something.

Now with that said, whatever obstacle you have awaiting for you, tackle it. Beat its ass to the ground and overcome it. And when the next obstacle comes, rinse and repeat. Don't stop until you breath your last breath and even then, still fight. Life is a battle you have to engage in every single day. You cannot lose or falter for even a minute. Stand strong and face your encounters. Even with this graveyard blog of mine, I just have to keep on posting content.

Let this be the guide for you in 2014.